Vartan Agnerian

  • commented on I Thought of You~ 2020-01-20 17:39:57 -0800
    Beautifully serene and emotional phrases’ Indeed countless facets and so – so much of that another lifetime’ before widowhood ’ has simply volatalized’ . . . ’

  • commented on Your Death is a Pain in the Ass Replay 2020-01-15 18:07:24 -0800
    Respects to each widow of the Soaring Spirits family’ different ages’ different backgrounds and family ties’ who passionately share their innermost emotions of the tough times’ grief and heartaches of their unique and personal widow stories’ extending support and understanding from afar to another fellow widow’
    As a youngster I remember a few widowed aunts and some older ladies in the neighborhood ’ they were always with sad faces and constantly wore black’ , making me
    feel a bit uneasy around them as a child’
    And here I am ’ a widow of a year at 63’ though not wearing black constantly’ but the colour has completely gone from my heart and soul and mind’ the days just feel colourless and monotonous’ as my husband will never be beside me anymore’ As you’ve all described ’ the death of a husband ’ is like a tsunami’ an earhtquake’ a volcano’ a snowstorm ’ a hurricane ’ a tornado’ causing great damage’ havoc ’ devastation and ruins’ and it is indeed tough and difficult to recover and rebuild from scratch ’ . . . . . Laura’

  • commented on It's the 3 Dots at the end... 2020-01-09 17:48:53 -0800
    …. Some examples of the sentences from relatives ’ – Well’ at least he gave you a very good life – ’ – You know you had a gentleman ’ one of a kind husband -’ – I’m telling you for your own good’ that grieving continuously eventually causes dementia -’ ….. So clearly and honestly explained’ what missing a husband truly feels ’ and how overwhelming it is’ as previously said ’ it feels like an earthquake ’ a tsunami’ a volcano’ a tornado and you’re left in the aftermath of the damages’ in a foreign territory’ . . . . . Laura’

  • commented on Knowing Ahead 2020-01-08 17:25:51 -0800
    A widow of a year myself’ This little phrase says it all about widowhood’ simply – " The holidays have become something " to get through" – That’s it’ everything’ everyday and every family occasion has become just that’ " something to get through" , everything has lost it’s meaning’ it’s colour’ it’s significance ’ it’s sense’ it’s excitement and zest ….. Laura’

  • commented on Marinating 2020-01-05 18:28:45 -0800
    Widowed a year’ Quite tough weeks for me Kelley’ in this sentimental Christmas and New Year days’ so many reminders of my husband jumping from everywhere’ songs’ movies’ gourmet food dormant memories awakening of romantic days gone by’ and the title you chose says it all’ MARINATING ’ so appropriate indeed’ That’s what I’m doing’ in my little corner "marinating " in my widowhood’ in my alonenees’ sunk in my long ago couple memories ’ seeing video clips on Facebook of others festively sharing their couple and family celebrations of dancing and singing’ which is their right absolutely ’ let them enjoy the moment while they can’ making me feel sentimental and nostalgic’ that once upon a time i was them’ but no more’ . . . . Laura’

  • commented on A New Year 2020 2020-01-03 20:04:33 -0800
    Dear Staci’ you always go to the core of what widow grief is’ that from now on’ as a widow ’
    for the rest of my life ’ in all the ’ new years ’ my husband will never be a part of it’ he will always be absent in the festivities’ it hurts so bad’ ……. Laura’

  • commented on I Will Always Wonder 2019-12-30 17:15:31 -0800
    Ahhh’ that wandering mind’ A widow of a year in my early sixtys’ feels like my mind’s video cassette is constantly on automatic rewind’ . . . . . Laura’

  • commented on A Wary Merry Christmas 2019-12-19 17:25:48 -0800
    A widow of a year’ just reading " December 22 " was enough for the tears to flow’ as that is our wedding day’ some 40 years ago’ What a hard and tough transition it is indeed’ to become just ‘one’ to be uncoupled’ to be half of what was among family and friends ….. What a heart shattering and tough shocking experience you had to face yourself ’ terminal diagnosis’ birth and death’ what courage and determination was needed for you to move forward by faith’ ….. Thank You for sharing your widow story’ …… Laura’

  • commented on It's About Time 2019-12-09 17:35:22 -0800
    Thank You for your honest words of your widow experience’ A widow of a year’ With all the crying’ the pillow shouting ’ the silent screaming’ berating myself with guilt ’ remorse ’ regret’ the only reason I’ve kept my sanity’ I’ve dragged through my days on this maddening widow path are the touching writings and the voices of other fellow widows’ as no one in the family-friends circle can relate and empathise to my brokenness or wants to be burdened with my widow story …… Laura

  • commented on The Roller Coaster of Grief 2019-12-04 17:26:04 -0800
    A few words put together ’ yet how accurately they describe that profound essence of what it is to have become a widow , and from then on to have a whole different outlook for everything’ no dreaming’ no planning’ no looking forward to’ no enthusiasm’ with a couldn’t care less feeling’ whatever will be will be’ just being there’ . . . . . Laura’

  • commented on Hangover 2019-11-29 20:06:17 -0800
    So well explained Kelley ’ and in only two words’ " Grief Hangover ", all those profound emotions of sadness’ confusion’ depression’ longing’ brokenness’ tearing for no reason’ going about just like a robot’ wandering aimless through the days’ doing chores mechanically’ and realising everything has become meaningless ’ no matter the group’ no matter the occasion’ disbelief that I am indeed the widow among all’ and there’s no going back’ …….. Laura’

  • commented on Be Thankful. Or Don't. Be Wherever You Are. 2019-11-27 20:24:05 -0800
    A widow of a year’ reading fellow widow’s unique touching stories has been my long distance therapy’ as no one in my circle can relate to widowhood’ or understand the depth of my grief and wounded soul’ nor has the time to listen to my sad story’ each busy in their daily responsibilities’ So’ day and night I reminisce our years together ’ rewinding the video my mind’ and fondly seeing my husband there’

  • commented on Raise Your Hand~ 2019-11-27 18:27:05 -0800
    I’ve raised my hand’ you can count me in among the lunatic club , A widow of a year ’ experiencing those emotional ups and downs and confusing thoughts’ consented to his absence and realistic one moment’ and then crying uncontrollably in the disposable diaper isle of the pharmacy’ just because I saw the name brand I used to buy for my husband ‘- due to advanced Parkinson’s bladder dysfunction ‘- or having managed quite well through the birthday gathering of a sister in law’ and after returning home’ realising that I was the only one there without my love partner’ I was the uncoupled one’ the odd widow among them all’ and thus screaming my heart out and crying into the pillow’ ……. Laura’

  • commented on Not What you Think~ 2019-11-24 21:22:00 -0800
    In a few words ’ you exactly sum it up what widowhood is’ – … The shittiest, most confusing, exhausting, life changing ride of one’s life …- Just recently passing through the disposable diapers isle at the pharmacy’ in an instant I got so emotionally overwhelmed and uncontrollable tears burst out’ seeing the brand that I used to buy for my husband, as he was advanced stage Parkinson affecting bladder control’ . . . . . Laura’

  • commented on Another Trip Around the Widowed Sun 2019-11-20 18:05:19 -0800
    So very true’ A widow of a year myself’ indeed the Universe simply will not let me’ not be conscious of my widow status day and night’ no matter the place ‘no matter the occasion’ no matter the group that encircles me’ there’s always some tiny reminder somewhere emphasizing my husband’s forever absence ’ that he is no more’ that henceforth I’m alone’ on my own’ all by myself ’ . . . . . Laura’

  • commented on You Have to be Kidding Me 2019-11-13 17:29:24 -0800
    Among the many standard comments’ this one was startling’ – You know it’s been a year ’ you’re the matriarch now’ I know you’re a logical person’ you can’t continue grieving’ I’ve read that prolonged grief causes dementia’ – . . . . . . Laura’

  • commented on What Now?... 2019-11-09 17:31:50 -0800
    You are so right Miss Allison’ A widow of a year myself’ EMPTY AND ALONE IN MY HEART AND SOUL is what I am indeed’ no matter where’ no matter the occasion’ no matter the group’ no matter the phone chats ’ afterwards the fact is the fact’ I am on my own ’ left all by myself on this deserted path of widowhood’ Thank You for my therapy of the day’ . . . . . . Laura’

  • commented on To Survive... 2019-11-07 17:45:43 -0800
    Thank You for sharing your personal experience of prolonged " tiredness and exhaustion to the core " and that sensation of physically being “spent”….
    A widow of a year’ and these past several years having been the caregiver for my husband ’ due to his deteriorating Parkinson’s disease’ I was so easily and lightheartedly multitasking a variety of daily chores ’ yet now I can’t even manage one simple chore’ so quickly I get breathless and need to take a break’ to sit down a while and then restart’ Simply incomprehensible ‘what deep changes the body goes through and reacts to grief’ . . . . . . Laura’

  • commented on First Year as a Widow 2019-11-05 17:37:41 -0800
    Thank You for sharing so honestly the real and pure inner emotions of what being a widow is like’ A widow of a year myself’ there are so many commonalities and similarities in what you express so touchingly in your experience of widowhood’ Sometimes I wonder how did I manage not to go mad or insane with this intense and immense grief all these past twelve months’ Then I realise’ by God’s grace and by reading the stories and hearing the voices of fellow widows like you’ Keep well Dear Mari . . . . . . . Laura’

  • commented on Loss Connections 2019-11-02 21:29:28 -0700
    Widow of a year’ and I also don’t fit anywhere and I don’t want to … It feels I’ve been in a fog and just don’t know how I managed to go through the days of this past year without my husband by my side’ My major support and therapy is reading fellow widows’ personal touching stories ’ Keep well and continue your good deed of helping and comforting us widows’ . . . . . Laura’