Vartan Agnerian

  • commented on Dear Dead Husband 2019-10-15 18:11:06 -0700
    Oh so very true’ Dear Kelley Lynn ‘such clear description of all the painful emotions we face as widows’ at different times on the path of widowhood all by ourselves’ and YES’ as the months roll by’ somehow " the missing is differently’ it feels deeper’ more profound’ and more permanent " … Simply by God’s grace from one day to the next’ … Laura

  • commented on The Agony of Defeat 2019-10-10 17:36:32 -0700
    You are so right’ This is exactly my present physical’ and mental state ’ after a year of getting the widow title – very lethargic’ very much like a hermit’ could go on sitting alone on the sofa’ for days and days and not mind – couldn’t care less if somebody called or not’ if somebody visited or not’ couldn’t care less for taking part in organizing any family gatherings and socializing’ Just passing through the days’ meaningless and purposeless ’

    Laura’

  • commented on Breathing In and Breathing Out 2019-10-03 17:21:31 -0700
    indeed widowhood is an immense heartache ’ a huge void ’ and much much exhausting ’ with all the extreme worrying and fear for the simplest of stuff’ God help us all ’

    Laura’

  • commented on A Scary Reality 2019-10-02 17:40:25 -0700
    Dearest Mari’ I had read an article which explained that’ prolonged stress’ anxiety’ worry and grief affect all the cells of the body’ and weaken the immune system’ A recent widow myself’ I can relate to your body being overwhelmed from the burden of grief’ from the huge loss of your husband ’ your life partner’ and now dealing with more stress and worry after an unexpected health problem’
    May be this is a hint’ for all of us’ to have plan B-s and plan C-s in case Plan A unexpectedly is changed ’
    Widowhood is indeed one terrible passage of life’s various phases’
    Wishing and hoping the best for you and your daughter ’

    Laura’

  • commented on What Time Means. And Doesn't 2019-09-18 19:50:00 -0700
    - A gentleman’ A romantic’ A lover’ – I had this rare combination ‘all in one ’in my beloved husband’ The missing is immense’ and as you mention ’ after being blessed with such a husband’ the possibility to meet another partner to measure up to this standard is so minimal’ specially in this superficial era of internet and fakeness and lack of commitment and true honesty’
    Miss Allison ’ you always hit profoundly the point’ and describe so precisely all that a widow has to deal with’ on her own’

    Laura’

  • commented on One More Phone Call 2019-09-13 17:28:57 -0700
    Thank You for this reminder that these sobbing eruptions are not happening only to me’ that there are other fellow widow sisters going through the same tough transition ’ the recent sobbing eruption episode was just because of peeling a sweet potato in my hand ’ because pureed sweet potato soup was one of his favourite’ as these past years due to his advanced Parkinson disease I had to puree everything ’ I miss him’ I miss our coupleness’

    Laura’

  • commented on You Need to Move On 2019-09-01 19:04:32 -0700
    Dearest Mari’ In a recent movie’ an older gentleman was trying to explain how one knows they’re in true love’ saying that when you realise you are getting connected with the other person at soul level’ and once your souls get intertwined’ and you simply can not see continuing your life path just by yourself as before’ apart from your special person ’ and you miss their presence immensely … So 4 years or 40 years ’ having been blessed to have met that special person of our lives with such soul bonding and such deep love ’ and then to lose them and become a widow ’ and be forced to face the rest of our days alone’ without them’ is indeed heart and soul’ mind and body knock out’ blackout ’ a very scary reality’ as one widow so accurately wrote’ we are left " crumbled into nothingness" …
    As to all those people who oh so casually comment’ it’s that they can’t relate to the shattered widow experience’ can’t comprehend the enormous life changes a widow is burdened with after the death of her husband’ as this recent comment from a relative to me’ a ten month widow’ – " You know’ now you have to start to think of yourself and your future’ you can’t go on grieving’ I’ve read that’ prolonged grief causes dementia " -

    Only by faith’ hope’ and God’s grace go I’

    Laura’

  • commented on Removed 2019-08-23 22:21:22 -0700
    You always find the exact words to profoundly describe the widow’ – removed – detached – unrecognisable- and that everyday sucks and everyday is a survival test ’ trying to stay afloat …. So tough’ so challenging and difficult this transition to a widow’ from ‘we’ to ‘me ’…………. Laura’

  • commented on Hard Day 2019-08-16 19:57:54 -0700
    Oh yes’ that empty – empty space’ the private sobbing ’ the bleeding ’ the darkness and the loneliness within’ that no one can comprehend and no one can relate to ’ unless a widow’
    A tough ’ bumpy and a hard road this widowhood path’

    Laura’

  • commented on Everyday Courage 2019-08-10 17:08:35 -0700
    Ten month into widowhood’ nervousness and fear are my everyday companions’

    Laura’

  • commented on Castle Made of Sand 2019-07-30 17:45:31 -0700
    So’ so tough and exhausting and draining to be thrown on this path of widowhood’
    In a few words ’ you are truly going to the heart of what being a widow is’
    Drowning ’ being cut deep by glass shards ’ and simply left on your own to deal with the sandy spilled memories …

    Laura’

  • commented on Widow Tired 2019-07-22 19:14:02 -0700
    Thank You Dear Kelley for being my therapy of the day’ Thank You for your honesty in every word’ Thank You for profoundly and precisely describing what it is to become a widow’ what it is to be thrown on the unfamiliar’ confusing’ difficult path of widowhood’

    Widowed ten months’ after a 44 year blissful’ contended ’ olden days marriage’

    Laura’

  • commented on Collapse Into You 2019-07-18 18:27:06 -0700
    Thank You Miss Kelley’ for such an accurate description of the mental and emotional upheaval of a widow’ Nine months without my sweet gentleman husband’ It indeed is a hellish experience that in just a minute your love partner is no more’ dead’ your beloved is now a corpse in front of your eyes’ extremely confusing and mind boggling reality’ and now it is so terrible and so tough to face the days on my own’ after a 44 year loving’ blissful marriage’
    Simply by grace and faith go I’ and the support and comfort I feel through reading Soaring Spirits’ special group of writers and a few other grief counselling pages’

    Laura’

  • commented on Normalish 2019-07-15 18:10:15 -0700
    What tough and difficult and uncomfortable experience it is to be on this widow path’ and it’s so true’ that realisation that our dead beloved person is more and more missed each day’ yet also more and more present each day in their invisible form’
    So many – many tiny hidden long term memories of years back ‘suddenly jump into the present out of nowhere ’ making you relive that moment ’ yet reminding that you are now without your beloved ’
    All the best dearest Staci on your adventure of recreating a life without your Mike ’ and reengaging in life and Bon Voyage on your Europe trip’

    Laura’

  • commented on Rocketman 2019-07-01 18:17:01 -0700
    Ahhhh’ Dear Staci’ how precisely you come up with terms that are so parallel to my widow story’ . . .This time " Emotional landmines" is exactly what I’m going through . . . unexpected explosions of tears with chest tightness and a crushed and crumpled heart overwhelming me’. . . A few days ago at the pharmacy while I was passing through the disposable diapers isle ’ seeing the brand that I used to buy for my husband’ just hit me so hard’ the realisation ’ the reminder that he is no more ’ that hence forward I am without him’ – as due to last stage Parkinson he was paralised and bedridden the last months needing disposables -

    Laura

  • commented on Thinking, and Overthinking~ 2019-06-26 17:33:20 -0700
    What clear description of the new reality of the one left without their person’ me as a recent widow’
    Happiness’ joy’ excitement’ enthusiasm they belong to the before’ when my husband ’ my love partner was near me ’ when his presence filled my day’
    Already I have forgotten that easy going’ light hearted ’ spontaneous ’ family gatherings initiator gal that I used to be’
    Reading your story eased my pain a little’ reminding that I’m not alone in this strange and unknown path of the “without”

    Laura

  • commented on History Repeats Itself All Too Often Too Soon 2019-06-07 19:49:23 -0700
    That’s exactly it’ without that one special person who you shared your life’s minute facets with’ and then suddenly there’s NO ONE TO …

    Laura

  • commented on The Tsunami of July 2019-05-30 19:34:52 -0700
    I was already emotional and in a sad mood’ listening to and watching " Engelbert Humberdinck In Hawaii " on PBS’ as each romantic song was reawakening a memory of my blissful married years’ of my couple days’ of my husband and wife days’ that are no more’ and then I read this on Soaring Spirits Facebook page’ and the tears flowed and flowed …
    My world forever changed also eight months ago’ it is no longer the life I knew’
    Now it is a widow’s world ’ now the days just follow each other’ without any drive’ any zest or enthusiasm’ though the calendar pages change’ but my mind’s calendar page is stuck on that month and day when my husband died’
    Reading your widow experience with that touch of clarity’ courage and core emotions has become part of my therapy’

    Laura

  • commented on Celebrations Realization~ 2019-05-19 22:36:30 -0700
    Dearest Beth’ thank you for sharing your widow at a wedding experience too’ and I absolutely relate to that sense of feeling your husband’s essence ’ soul presence’ sometimes I feel as if I’m in “The Ghost and Mrs. Muir” movie … you know ’ the church ceremony was the hardest to watch’ as sitting there’ I was visualising my husband and myself at the altar ’ murmuring ’ it was just yesterday we were the young couple at the altar’ it was just yesterday it was us …. though reality being that it had been 44 years of that by gone days style’ romantic’ contented marriage’ and sadly the last twelve witnessing my gentleman husband suffering the deterioration and the damages of Parkinson’s disease’ with the finality of aspiration pneumonia …..
    Blessed be their sweet memories ’ blessed be their souls’ ….

    Laura

  • commented on A New Beginning 2019-05-06 19:53:16 -0700
    Soaring Spirits Widow’s Voice ’ among a few other grief communities’ has become my daily companion’ my support and my long distance therapy’ these past seven months’
    I just don’t know’ how on my own’ without this guidance or resources I would have handled and reacted and gone through the shock and trauma of widowhood ’
    Reading and taking a glimpse into each unique and emotional widow story lessens my state of feeling alone’ scared’ lonely’ defeated’ odd and weird without my previous title’ – wife of –
    Though it is " the club that no one wants to be a part of " but simply by being there’ the widow community truly does fill an immense need ’ and is an awesome help’

    All the best to you’ keep on – comforting, embracing, encouraging, supporting – all those that have lost their person and are going through " the many complexities of grief, life and love "

    Laura