Janice Hart

  • commented on Not an Identity Crisis~ 2019-07-20 17:56:32 -0700
    Interesting post, as always. It occurred to me, I never once thought of the word, “widow”, when John was ill. It never came to mind until a week after he passed. Thinking about it now, I find it strange that I didn’t even think of it at the time. I was so busy with the business of trying to not lose him, I didn’t think beyond the minute to minute struggle.

    I am glad you choose to live a colorful life, Alison. Not many could do what you are doing and what you have done these 6 years. I am happy to follow your journey, to where ever it takes you.

  • commented on History Repeats Itself All Too Often Too Soon 2019-07-04 17:48:40 -0700
    My heart is broken for you. Have you considered taking some of the cremains and having something made for yourself to keep? I have a glass necklace that contains and my son has a key chain with some. When my time comes, our sons will co-mingle the ashes so that we remain together always. I feel comforted to have him here with me, and I’m sure you do the same. ((hugs)) for you, on this your anniversary day. He loves you still.

  • commented on Space 2019-06-01 17:24:46 -0700
    I believe when God closes a door, he leaves a window open. You will find the best career choice for yourself. It is so much harder without spousal support to help guide us. But listen to your heart, your wife is there and she will help guide you. Blessings to you and your daughter.

  • commented on ... And Still 2019-05-16 17:08:53 -0700
    Beautifully written Kelley.

  • commented on Small Screen Surprises 2019-05-12 21:10:43 -0700
    Beautifully written. Big ((hugs)) to you.

  • commented on His Girl 2018-04-17 13:18:24 -0700
    Thank you for this post. Much of it might have been written by me. I had a husband who loved me, and me him, so that we became more than husband and wife, we were one unit, meld together so that together we were much more than a sum of the parts. It’s hard to explain the relationship, because I believe that some people never get to have this type of joining with another human. Now it is up to us to find the new person we will become after such a great loss. As you stated, " This new version of me is going to be all that I was – and even more." I just need to find me again.

  • commented on Hiatus 2017-08-04 19:43:39 -0700
    Thank you Kelley. I was unable to find the facebook page you mentioned, but I was able to view the meeting date and time on this page. I RSVP for the meeting on 8/15 and I look forward to meeting you there.

  • commented on New Years Eve Blues 2016-12-30 18:32:33 -0800
    New Years Eve was never a party night for my husband and me. We usually had people over for Lobsters and steamers and we were all in bed well before midnight. The only New Years Eve that bothered me, emotionally, was 2014 where I realized that he was not going to have been alive in 2015 for any part of it. I could not imagine entering a year without him in it. That was very hard for me. 2016 was easier and I imagine this year will be less hurtful as well. I guess this is what moving forward feels like. I hate it, and I am always sad and longing for the life I had before he passed, but I can’t have that anymore. Welcome back to Mass. Kelley. I am a couple of towns away. I hope you find what you need to finish your book, and I’ll be sure to order it when you do.

  • commented on The Eyes Say It All~ 2016-12-29 08:12:19 -0800
    I have noticed that too, Alison. The eyes of a widow are different, there is no fire behind them, just a deep sadness. I, too, hope that the fire returns once again.

  • commented on Leaving 2016-12-21 07:58:50 -0800
    I am so sorry, I don’t know how that happened :( It won’t let me delete!

  • commented on Oh, the Shame! On THEM~ 2016-12-15 02:25:34 -0800
    I totally agree. I have lost some dear (I thought) friends once I became a widow. No one understands until it happens to them. My hope is that Karma pays them a visit once it happens to them and they remember how they crushed our friendship with the lack of understanding and caring they showed to me I love the last sentence, however, my fuck off comes with no respect – as they have shown none to me!

  • commented on What Matters In The End 2016-10-28 12:03:34 -0700
    You might want to seek out a private duty case manager. They will be able to assist you with options for your mom. You can find one through your social service office of the nursing home. I am sorry you have to go through all of this. I’m glad your mom has you there to help her. Prayers are sent for you and your family.

  • commented on Long Live Love~ 2016-10-19 16:43:24 -0700
    I love this Alison. One of the best I have ever read. Thank you.

  • commented on It's the 3 Dots at the end... 2016-09-21 16:25:51 -0700
    “Do you know what I mean when I say that there is not one damn thing in my life, or life around me, that is the same as it was and that, all by itself, is overwhelming…” That pretty much says it all. I face the world daily, wearing my mask of normalcy, acting as if everything is now okay in my life. And then I come across a blog like this, which identifies, all that I feel and all that I hold inside, and then the tears come. Thank you for speaking our truth.

  • commented on A Path Built on Love 2016-09-09 19:58:46 -0700
    I am excited for you!! Welcome back to MA. I love the Groton area, as I live very close by there. Christmas back home with the folks will be lovely for you. Take all the time you need to create your new and exciting life – something special is out there waiting for you.

  • commented on So I Don't Fade~ 2016-08-31 09:08:59 -0700
    You won’t fade away. I know you carry on your story to tell of the immense love that Chuck left for you. And I get that, and understand that. But I see another story. One you probably didn’t set out to write. It’s a story of how someone who has lost the love of her life finds the courage to make a new life. A story of how a widow, although in the depths of grief, finds the strength to put one foot in front of the other to make a totally different life for herself. Most of us sit in our comfortable homes, surrounded by things that our husbands loved, touched, used, and filled with walls full of memories. You are showing us all that we can be fearless and make different choices. You show us that you are a survivor and sometimes people need to look outside the box and then the possibilities are endless. By sharing your story, we get to see hope for a new tomorrow. Thank you for taking us along for the ride, Alison.

  • commented on Death and Friendships (not) 2016-08-18 02:59:34 -0700
    Alison, where did all that come from? Why did she want to hurt you like that? I feel so badly for you to have to hear those words. She was no friend to you, and in fact, her words speak volumes of how jealous she is of you as a woman. She is aware of your strengths and for what ever reason felt the need to try and knock you down. You are living your life your own way and in your own time, and that’s all we widows can do. Let’s focus on building ourselves into the women we choose to be, and not worry about naysayers.

    I am sorry for you loss of someone you thought was a friend You are survived the worst loss that can happen, and you will survive this one too. The road is open to you, and along the way you will meet new people who will cheer you on this voyage – sometimes just riding along shotgun with you and sometimes holding you up when you need some help. We are many women strong, and we are here for you, as you are here for us.

  • commented on Pre-planning your Emotional Response to Death...Ain't it Precious? 2016-05-25 12:18:47 -0700
    Very nice response. If only it were that easy to move on. If only every memory would only bring joy and not the pain of knowing it will never happen again. If every anniversary would bring joy and not the sorrow as I think, I’ll never have another one with him. No one can understand this journey unless you are standing beside us as a member of the club we never wanted to join! A club that grows in number daily. I am blessed and thankful to have others to share this journey with me, although I don’t want any of them to be members. This person has no clue what it is like. Sadly, someday she or her husband will know. She will have to play the hand she is dealt.

  • commented on The Never-Ending Dance~ 2016-02-03 08:09:19 -0800
    I knew he was gone the moment he left this earth. However, the feeling of the two of us being one remains, it’s as constant as my breathing in and out. I believe that some of us are lucky to find that sort of love in our lives. As spoken in the Bridges of Madison County, “this kind of certainty comes but just once in a lifetime”, this is the love that I had with my husband. People have asked me, 16 months later, if I would ever consider dating again. I don’t feel that I want to date, I will be forever married to the man who promised to love me all of his life, and he did. He awaits me on the other side. The love we shared remains.