Lisa Richardson

  • commented on Thanksgiving Blues 2015-11-26 23:48:19 -0800
    The nights are so empty. They just suck most of the time. So glad you had the love of friends around you today, and that you lit the tree. We’re all with you tonight – hugs and love to you

  • commented on No Pie for Me, Thanks 2015-11-26 23:39:31 -0800
    No pie for me either. Today on top of Thanksgiving was my birthday. My daughter made a cake and it was overall a nice day, but what I missed most was my annual “birthday girl!” announcement Tony would make as he brought me a cup of coffee. Such a hard season. Thank you for writing here Stephanie. Knowing each of you are here every evening for me to connect with is what I’m most grateful for.

  • commented on Gratitude, and my Lack Thereof~ 2015-11-25 23:37:05 -0800
    Alison I like what you said about staying in your heart not your head. It made me smile because my darling husband used to tell me all the time “your head is a scary place…don’t go in there alone”. Thank you for the reminder to try and live in the moment. It’s all we really have isn’t it.

  • commented on The Word Widow 2015-11-23 23:26:13 -0800
    Michele thank you for addressing this. I too hated the word at first. I am a suicide widow which doubled the impact for me. What I love most about your post is the final paragraph. I am so proud to have loved my husband to his very last breath. I am proud of who he was, of the legacy he has left. But the manner of his death has left society unwilling to even call me a widow at times. As if somehow suicide left me unworthy of being his wife and him unworthy of the pride I feel. This is what I fight to change, what I pray will change.

  • commented on Fighting the stigma 2015-11-21 09:29:57 -0800
    Thank you Rebecca. Thank you for bringing me back to focus. My Tony did fight so hard, and to this day so many people have the idea he was weak. I too feel like he left us from time to time. I guess it’s all part of the process. But it’s also so important to take a step back and keep the difficult battle they faced in the forefront so we may someday be better able to help others who are struggling. They deserve the best we can give them.

  • commented on Echo 2015-11-19 23:42:28 -0800
    Wow Kelley such universal truth for all of us. No one or nothing fills that void. No one gets me; totally understands what I need, want or feel like my husband did. I think that’s the ache I feel in my heart that won’t go away and the loneliness I feel among a thousand people. Thank you for writing this. I agree with Alison, it means so much to know someone else totally understands.

  • commented on Birthday Wishes 2015-11-19 23:31:09 -0800
    Such a warm and loving tribute to a wonderful man. It will forever and always be his birthday no matter how many years pass. Hugs to all of you during this tough week.

  • commented on A Year in Review 2015-11-17 22:59:52 -0800
    You are a strong soul and an amazing Dad. I too had to make the decision to let my beloved go, there are no words to describe it. Love and peace is what I wish for you and Shelby this week.

  • commented on The Loneliness of Grief 2015-11-13 23:46:59 -0800
    This is the toughest part of it all I think. Being so very alone with our grief. Most of my “friends” and others at this 4 year point are starting to ask when I’m going to date or what my plans for the future are. They don’t ever consider I could be desperately missing him, some days feeling as if he just left yesterday. I get awkward silence and odd looks if I mention still grieving. Just as you said Rebecca – thank goodness for the ones who “get it”!

  • commented on Not 51 2015-11-06 20:59:25 -0800
    It just sucks Kelley. Tony’s birthday was two weeks ago. There’s nothing happy about all these missing birthday people that we love so much. I’m so sorry.

  • commented on Laden with Gold 2015-11-05 23:25:53 -0800
    Stephanie thank you for providing this new perspective. What a wonderful way to view the world (and hopefully quiet some of the noise in my head too).

  • commented on Backward is Forward 2015-11-01 00:57:48 -0700
    Thank you for sharing this Kelley. Such a personal story and touching reminder that we are making progress, even if it seems so painfully slow. Happy Anniversary – such a beautiful love to celebrate!

  • commented on Carrying the Sadness Forward 2015-11-01 00:48:36 -0700
    You say what so many of us feel so beautifully Rebecca. Travelling was one of our greatest joys together and as you said, is now so bittersweet. I almost feel guilty seeing new places without him. But I also know he would want me to keep going and experiencing new places. I take him with me in my heart, and in a way it feels as if I’m fulfilling a dream of his right along with my own. Hope you enjoyed your trip to that beautiful island!

  • commented on To Grief or Not to Grief, and What's Normal or Not? 2015-10-28 07:59:19 -0700
    Alison I’m so very sorry about your dad. I lost mine Christmas morning just four months before my husband, and I think numb is the best description. Compound that with people around us believing (in true Victorian fashion) that 1 year is the appropriate time to grieve, and it leaves us all thinking we’re a bit crazy. Take YOUR time. It’s been almost 5 years now and I’m still a work in progress. I think I’ve decided to finally stop waiting for signs of my old self and focus on discovering who I am today, grief and all. Rest, recharge, and know you are loved today for the woman you are today.

  • commented on The Things We Carry 2015-10-26 23:42:24 -0700
    Tricia thank you for this post. Today is my husband’s birthday. As I have done every night since finding this blog, I read your inspiring words. As always, what you have written here today has helped to heal a small part of my soul and soothe me on a trying day. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, and may you find joy and peace.

  • commented on Always and Never 2015-10-16 23:16:22 -0700
    It’s been a little over 4 years for me too. Just today I was thinking about how totally alone I feel even with new friends and new endeavors in my life. If someone asked me to explain that, I’m not sure I could. Saying I miss him just doesn’t capture it. I’m so glad everyone here “gets it” because the rest of the world just doesn’t.

  • commented on The Waves of Grief 2015-10-10 23:41:03 -0700
    Dearest Rebecca, I’m so very sorry. My husband Tony faught his depression for two long years. He did everything he was asked to do, tried every medication, was hospitalized three times for suicidal ideations and depression. In the end none of it worked. He asked for my help and we faught it together. I know how exhausting it all was. And yet, like you, I have those feelings of abandonment. The triggers are still there in all those unexpected places. They still hit me after four years. I know how much he loved me, that he never would have left of free will. The disease they faught wore them down and ultimately they couldn’t fight any more. I have seperated the two parts of my darling Tony in my heart and mind. The man I loved I carry in my heart. The disease that took his life died that day and now is gone. It’s the only way I can make any kind of sense of it all.

  • commented on The Girl With the Crooked Smile 2015-10-01 23:31:18 -0700
    Wow Stephanie, what a timely post for me. So glad you found the courage to write it. I’ve been struggling with the way my life just seems to slowly move forward with so much less purpose and joy now. I needed the reminder, and a little push, to enjoy each day because as we all know there are far too few of them. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that and without Mike. But thanks for making me smile tonight!

  • commented on Not Growing Old Together 2015-09-25 23:48:37 -0700
    Funny how I seem to notice the older couples more now, and I have to admit I’m jealous. I’ll be 58 this year. Probably going to be alone from here on out, and that scares the hell out of me. One of the worst parts of all this is the terrible aloneness even when I’m surrounded by people I know. I’m certain you’ll feel that tomorrow right alongside the love of friends and family. I’m so sorry for your loss Kelley, but I sincerely wish you a day filled with laughter and joy. Happy Birthday!

  • commented on What Not to Talk About on a First Date... 2015-09-19 23:18:47 -0700
    I’m with you Kelley – Ugh! That conversation is hard enough with people I know, let alone someone I’m trying to get to know on a date. I think I’d like to share someone’s company again but the whole dating thing just sucks. So maybe for awhile I’ll just wait and see what life brings my way. I’m so much less courageous than you are Rebecca. And I wish and hope for everything wonderful for you!