Marissa Hutton

  • commented on Grief Timeline 2015-10-25 09:09:07 -0700
    Well said, Michele, as usual. Grief expires when you take your last breath but what ends for you is just beginning for those left behind. The pain weakens over time but it’s never fully gone. When the grief seems too much to bear, I listen to “The Dance” by Dave Koz and reflect upon the chorus:

    And now I’m glad I didn’t know
    The way it all would end, the way it all would go
    Our lives are better left to chance
    I could have missed the pain
    But I’d have had to miss the dance

  • commented on Just Be There 2015-10-08 10:05:16 -0700
    Love this “rant”, Stephanie, and it should be published in a guide book or a rule book somewhere. 😊
    I’m in the process of becoming a grief minister and you have stated some of the same points that are part of the training. We’re not trying to “fix” anyone or tell them to get over it, we’re trying to give folks a safe place to grieve and process their feelings. It’s run by a Catholic priest but he’s quick to state that ALL are welcome regardless of religious affiliation, sexual orientation or type of loss (all illnesses, suicide, murder, whatever). A loss is a loss, no matter who you are or how your person died. We all need to “Just be there” and help one another along this journey.

  • commented on Parallels & Pushing On 2015-09-06 13:50:40 -0700
    What’s meant to be will always find a way. The stars are aligning once again for you so don’t ignore the push. 😊 Peace and blessings be with you always.

  • commented on What A Ride 2015-08-31 09:54:55 -0700
    Good for you and good luck!

  • commented on What A Man Is 2015-08-28 13:44:10 -0700
    “…unfairness of it all…”

  • commented on Food, My Old Friend 2015-08-14 22:17:24 -0700
    If you haven’t done so already, try putting lemon and/or cucumber slices in your water. That may help you drink more. Try seltzer water as well. Maybe you can fool your brain into thinking it’s more than just water with bubbles. Some of the sparkling mineral waters taste like Alka Seltzer to me and some even have added sodium for taste so stay away from those.

    Good luck and I’m rooting for you.

  • commented on We Have a Widow's Voice Baby! 2015-08-11 07:44:51 -0700
    Congratulations, Kerryl! Peace and blessings be with you always!

  • commented on Fragments and Words~ 2015-08-05 10:08:42 -0700
    Yes, Alison, I’m exhausted and I have run out of words. At 3 years 1month and 8 days, I wish I could make my brain stop counting the time I’ve been without my hubby’s physical presence. I also wish for a really good guy friend to keep me company, to go places with me and to snuggle with but without the desire to date or be a FWB. I believe I saw a blog somewhere about a “Human For Rent” and I thought that was the best idea ever but I have no idea where to find a guy like that.

    I get frustrated sometimes when my adult sons or my siblings don’t want or don’t have the time to do things or go places with me but I have to take a step back and remind myself that they’re on their own journey so I shouldn’t get frustrated. I’m trying to keep my life on the track it was before my hubby died but I realize that’s not going to work anymore.
    I try not to take those stress tests because when I get stressed, I try to force myself to relax but then I think about having to take more meds for my blood pressure and that stresses me out more and then…lather, rinse, repeat.

    I’ve come to believe that this grief of mine will be with me until I close my eyes for the last time but little by little, I’m learning to keep it from taking over my entire life. Some days I win and some days I lose but I really am learning to deal with this detour.

  • commented on Decade 2015-08-04 16:50:55 -0700
    Have a safe trip and it’s good that you’re choosing to be happy on your wedding anniversary Remembrance Day.

  • commented on Any Other Day 2015-07-24 11:42:40 -0700
    Beautiful, Mike. Peace and blessings be with you as you celebrate Meagan’s life. I like that opening quote as well.

  • commented on Hey Bud 2015-07-07 23:47:34 -0700
    Mike, this is so heartwarming and like Alison said, I hope to find someone as wonderful as you. May you two have many, many, many more wonderful years together as Megan and Drew watch over you.

  • commented on The Fields of Tomorrow 2015-07-05 07:53:02 -0700
    Beautifully stated! I pray that when I’m ready to date again, my in-laws and stepchildren will be supportive and understand that even though I’m moving forward with my life, my love for them and especially my love for my deceased husband will never be left behind.

  • commented on My Other Soul Mate 2015-06-27 14:17:31 -0700
    That’s awesome that you have a sister like her. She rocks! Once you get some rest, it’ll be good to hear about your retreat.

  • commented on Grief and Sex and...what? 2015-06-24 06:24:52 -0700
    Hello Alison,
    I think the general perception is that once you no longer have your life partner, the main thing you miss is constant sex. It’s “easier” and more acceptable, in general, for widowers to start dating again soon because, well, a man needs what a man needs. Widows need it, too, and it’s such a twisted double standard. Most guys will date widows because they think they’re so sex starved that they will allow a man to “hit it and quit it” without wanting a true relationship with them. After all, they’re just trying to fill a void literally and figuratively left by their dead mate but if the widow does that, then she’s reduced to a “slut” in society’s eyes.
    It’s almost as if society gives a widower a big thumbs up because a man needs the comfort and intimacy of a woman but shouldn’t society feel the same about widows instead of the judge mental states and comments like “I wonder what her husband would think of her behavior if he were alive?” If my husband were alive, I wouldn’t be a widow and I wouldn’t be dating, duh!!!!
    I’m pretty much rambling so I apologize for that but I don’t see anything wrong with widowers or widows dating in hopes of finding intimacy and a safe sex partner again. It’s pretty scary out here these days so while I don’t feel ready to date again just yet, I’ll be hyper vigilant when I do decide to dip my toe back in the dating pond.