Marissa Hutton

  • commented on Dreaming Together 2019-07-03 07:06:31 -0700
    Well said! It’s time for me to press play on my life again. My desire to travel to places we dreamed is still alive because I’m still alive so I’m slowly but surely ticking off things on my “Just Do It” list. 😁

  • commented on Why me? Why not ‘‘‘me? 2019-04-24 09:44:24 -0700
    That last sentence is very profound to me. Helps put things in perspective. Wow, just wow!

  • commented on Everything but the Kitchen Sink 2019-04-01 18:09:51 -0700
    Yes! Just. Yes! Yet another thing that didn’t die when he died. I miss our intimate time so much.

  • commented on Trauma Triggers: Is This Still a Thing? 2019-03-10 11:30:03 -0700
    You did the right thing by staying and the person that stayed with you did the right thing for you. It lets us know that there are still people willing to sit with you when the triggers hit hard, no matter how many years it’s been.

  • commented on Widowing and Renaisance Faires 2019-03-07 11:58:24 -0800
    There’s a wiki page about professional mourners if anyone wants to try their hand at it in a foreign country: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professional_mourning

    I’m sure there’s a market for it locally, too. It happens in my house a few nights each month. I, like most of us, do it for free! 😏

  • commented on Quality Time 2019-03-07 11:51:15 -0800
    Well said! It’s nice to be able to pay the bills but you have to ensure you get that work-life balance.

  • commented on Favorite Parent 2019-02-21 11:25:57 -0800
    Dad FTW (For The Win)! I find myself singing the Weird Al version of songs when I hear the original songs: “Eat it”, “My Bologna”, “White and Nerdy”, the list goes on. Unfortunately, my sons don’t share this part of my taste in music and neither did my late husband but that’s ok. I have grandkids now that I can try to assimilate. 😊

    My sons were all adults when their dad died and he was their favorite by miles but I was his favorite so I did a little “manipulation” on the backside to win favor because if mama ain’t happy, no one is happy.

    I know they love me, care for me and respect my opinion but when their dad was alive, it was a lot easier to score brownie points with him as my mouthpiece than it is coming directly from my mouth.

  • commented on Paradox 2019-02-05 06:34:30 -0800
    I wouldn’t say “lucky,” because that just sounds weird to me but I would say you’re on the path you were meant to travel, as is Sarah. I am a Christian so I believe that God works things in your favor, no matter how hard it is to grasp the twisted and convoluted the path is for you to get to that favor.

    If you’re not the religious type, then you may prefer to think of it as the universe aligning in your favor, though sometimes it feels like it’s conspiring against you.

    There’s a timeline to everything, I believe, and once you’re where you need to be, things fall into place. Someone had to die in order for Megan to get the transplant to extend her life but it was necessary for you to have that extra time because it wasn’t time yet for your and Sarah’s path to converge (with a little help from Kelley 😉).

    Long story short (too late, I know), it’s not lucky, it’s just that you both have experienced love and profound loss but you still have something to give so God or the universe is doing you a solid. 😁

    Plus, your experiences give me hope that I may find love again even though it’ll be because I’ve experienced the horrific tragedy of losing my husband to esophagus cancer.

    Congrats and good “luck.”

    —Marissa

  • commented on Don't Die 2019-01-17 14:44:00 -0800
    I think it’s a common thing for folks who have lost someone suddenly to say things like “don’t die” because even though that’s something we have zero control over, “don’t die” gives the person saying it a bit of comfort and control over an uncontrollable situation, if that makes sense.

  • commented on If I could Back Up 2019-01-02 17:54:26 -0800
    If we could back up, indeed! One more slow dance, one more mundane weekend, one more meal, one more kiss, one more silly joke, just one more anything positive!

  • commented on It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas - Finally 2018-12-24 19:39:37 -0800
    This resonates with me so well right now. This is my 7th Christmas without my husband (he died in June of 2012) but I think I’m just coming to terms with the fact that the future may still be something good. I do miss being a wife, too. Focusing on the love instead of the loss is helpful. Merry Christmas!

  • commented on Widowed and Scary~ 2018-12-12 07:07:39 -0800
    What’s really scary to other people is when you actually call their bluff, meaning “Call me if you need anything or if you just want to talk and hang out.” but when I do call, it’s lots of stuttering and sputtering. Sometimes, I let the uncomfortableness play out because I’m weird like that (and I like to be entertained by a good show. Don’t judge me. 😊) but other times, I say “It’s ok, maybe another time.” and let them off the hook.

  • commented on Back to the Future 2018-12-12 06:59:30 -0800
    Wow! I need to write a back to the future letter to myself because this is awesome! I’m crying while I’m reading this but realizing how far I’ve come in the six years since my husband breathed his last as esophagus cancer robbed him of his life.

  • commented on Widow's Roast 2018-08-30 19:05:51 -0700
    “Alive Mike” That’s hella funny! 😂😂😂
    I like it, though. Cuts down on the confusion.

  • commented on I Wanted to Call You 2018-08-26 09:31:51 -0700
    Beautifully stated! Scrubs was one of my favorites, too! My late husband wasn’t a huge fan but because he knew I really liked the show, he bought the dvds for me and he would occasionally sit down and watch with me.

    Now, the dvds sit in storage because I don’t have room for them in my new place and no one would watch with me anyway. I know that one day, I’ll meet a guy willing to love me asI am and won’t feel intimidated by the love I still have for my dead husband. Sounds weird and even a little morbid but I’m hoping for a widower because he will understand that sometimes, you just want to share some good news with the person you loved in your “before” life even though all’s well with your “after” life.

  • commented on The Dance 2018-01-30 12:33:27 -0800
    Wow! The imagery in this writing is very powerful! Since we have no choice in this matter, we may as well learn the dance.

  • commented on The Sky is Falling 2018-01-18 07:09:10 -0800
    I totally get it. Folks may think you sound despondent but now that we’ve lost our person, it really is just realistic thinking that brings a sense of peace.

    I’m not ready to die but if the end is near, bring it! My prayer is for the end to come for all of us at the same time so there’s no one left to grieve. Selfish and maybe a little weird but that’s how my brain thinks these days.

  • commented on All is Calm, All is Bright 2017-12-25 21:03:55 -0800
    Beautifully written. This is my 6th Christmas without my husband but for some reason, this year is really difficult. Maybe because I recently had some good and bad news that I really wanted to share with him and while I went to the cemetery, headstones cannot talk back or give big hugs. I was still able to find joy in this day and let the hot tears flow.

  • commented on To Know Grief is to Know Love 2017-12-14 14:58:19 -0800
    Absolutely! I was 45 when my husband died and I just turned 50 in May. We were married for “only” 20 years but it’s still better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

  • commented on As this Odyssey of Love Expands~ 2017-12-14 14:54:16 -0800
    #SayTheirName Bernardo, Sr.