A warm hello to my fellow widows,
Many of us widows are juggling lots of balls. I know I am. Just when I believe that I have gotten into a good routine…bam…something can come along to throw me off track or be a cause of frustration. It can be a new change of sort either at work or at home. Now, for example, summer is ending, school is beginning and there are new work responsibilities and challenges occurring. As we all know, change is always present, therefore we must change with it. It is not always easy, but there are some things we can do along the way that might help.
When my husband Rory first died, I was overwhelmed and in deep grief. It was a devastating change and one that took a long time to meet and adapt to. I had no idea at first what to do or even who I was when I felt that half of me had died too. But like all of us widows, I began the journey of walking through the grief and into this new phase of life.
Along the way, I’ve learned and been reminded of the importance of extreme self care. Today, as I was stressed about a few things and venting, I was reminded about how I often share with others the importance of self care, consistently and especially in times of stress. (and being widows we’ve encountered our share of that!) I was then informed I had not been doing such a good job of walking my talk and taking time for me and self-care. Ouch!! I appreciated the feedback as it was true. I know when I am not taking the best care of me and “over doing it”, the life/work stresses can absolutely take a toll and I can become unfocused and overwhelmed.
So, back to widow extreme self-care. Here are a few "time tips" to help us exhibit some self-care. Also, I invite you to add your self-care strategies to the comments section so all widows reading this blog can learn from each other what works well. So, here are some "time tips" for extreme self-care.
1. Plan: Fifteen minutes a day planning will save forty-five minutes later. (The action of planning was helpful even during the darkest days after losing my husband as it helped me focus!)
2. If you really want to do something, schedule it in. Arrange for a babysitter (if you need one) so you can go to the gym, have a night with friends, set aside thirty minutes to do some journaling, read a book, get a pedicure, clean out a closet etc.)
3. Create Systems: Have places where you always put things. (I am always striving to be a “filer, not a piler”). It does save time and it helps us stay organized. Without systems we can create clutter, chaos and additional stress. (As we know, there is so much important financial/medical etc. paperwork that needs to be organized)
4. Delegate or Ask For Help: Even if you think you cannot. Ask a friend or family member to pick up the kids, or go to the market, anything you can possibly think of.
This whole week I have been guilty of not taking extreme or much of any self-care for that matter. I’ll tell you a little secret. I took 15 minutes to plan the rest of my week. Guess what I scheduled in my calendar for tomorrow?…yes, some self-care! A pedicure/manicure is scheduled in. WooHoo! I feel better already!
What are some of your best widow self-care tips? Would love to read them!