Widowed people are scary. Who knew? I’ve noticed it in the past 5 years and it took me a while to figure it out. Our tragedy makes people uncomfortable in a way that is hard to describe unless you’ve experienced it. But it’s true. I think it is more than just not knowing what to say to us, or thinking we might cry suddenly. I think we scare people because we represent a reality no one wants to face. They want to pretend it won’t ever happen to them. If they can ignore or gloss over our situation, they don’t have to look death in the face. I mean think about it. There is a 50-50 chance a marriage will end in divorce. But, there is a 100 percent chance that if you don’t get divorced first, one of you will die. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT….
And yet…we don’t talk about it. Death is the elephant in the room. So sad it happened to Daniel, Michelle and Grayson (in head thought – OMG, so unlucky, thank God it didn’t happen to us)….and to that I say: “YET”. It hasn’t happened to you yet, but it will. We all die. When is the only unanswered question. I’m not trying to be dark and foreboding here. None of us make it out alive. I’ve had to face reality. Clearly I cannot pretend it won’t happen to me. Selfishly I hope that if I ever remarry I get to die first. Seriously. I don’t want to do this ever again. Fortunately for G and any future husband, the women in my family live forever, so it is likely that I’ll outlive any man I choose. Perhaps I should become a cougar to increase my chances of dying first? ;-) Just kidding!!
Sorry to get off topic – We represent the reality that no one wants to face – this could happen to them at anytime. We are living evidence of the shortness and unpredictability of life. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing though. I like to put a positive spin on this. I hope I am evidence in a positive way. I hope that people see us and are reminded that they should be living life to the fullest each day. I hope they hug each other tighter, say I love you more often and don’t put things off until tomorrow. I hope I scare them into not taking things for granted.
BOO! Now get out there and live your life. Who knows how much time you have?