Victim Mentality

download.jpgast week I had no internet access for over 4 days (hence the lack of WV post).
I also had no TV access as it runs from the same cable.
I was going stir crazy as I was needing to get online to finalise things for my return to work after the holidays.
WHY was this happening to me. 
....and then I gave myself a good shake, a kick up the bum and asked myself if anyone I loved would die as a result of a faulty internet cable.

I was sinking into "victim mentality"*.

This week, I was speaking to someone who had every excuse in the book for their own poor behaviour.  Every excuse! Nothing was their own fault but life's circumstances meant they thought it was OK to treat others in an appalling way.
They were appealing to me for sympathy for their situation ... but frankly, I couldn't muster much.  To be honest, I was thinking to myself that they needed to get a bit of perspective: nobody was dead.

So many people seem to carry around a form a of victim mentality with them.
So many people do not realise that EVERYONE is carrying a burden. 
They don't realise that nobody's life is perfect.
They don't realise that every day we have the choice to put our problems in perspective ....

....and as a teacher, I can see that this "poor me" mentality is being passed on to children by parents who have no coping mechanisms.  So many of children I meet have poor resilience to even the slightest stress that I really do worry about how they will cope with something that is really horrible.

 ... like death.

Even tonight I find myself feeling a bit sorry for myself as I have had a rough day. 
A new relationship that I had thought was developing slowly-but-surely is no longer developing. 
I feel like I am ugly and old and boring and why would anyone want to date me anyway? 
I am tired: this week I have too many places to be in at the same time. 
Everyone I speak to seems to need another piece of me.
Every question is an intrusion into my already tired mind. 
I am jumpy and annoyed at the world.
I am feeling sad and sorry for myself.
but. 
BUT.

Nobody is dead. 

Nothing I am going through now even comes close to touching that true tragedy.
...and I have to remember that I can have the odd pity party,
....actually, I *deserve* the occasional slump into feeling hard-done-by,
....but sinking into victimhood is not helpful to me or anyone else.

So tonight I will moan and groan at how bloody AWFUL this week has been and how hard the rest of it will be, but by tomorrow I will wake up and remember that I have already endured something that would break so many other people and that my current woes are small.

I will remember that I am strong.
I will remember that I am not a victim.
I will choose hope. 



 (* Victim mentality is an acquired (learned) personality trait in which a person tends to regard him or herself as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to think, speak and act as if that were the case - even in the absence of clear evidence. ) 


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