When Joey passed away my kids went to a small preschool near where we live. I never imagined how important this place would become to me. The day after his accident my daughters teacher showed up at my house, I was a little surprised because her and I weren't very close. But she said she felt like she needed to be there and would just sit if that was ok. Another mom started a gofund me account for us. Other days several other moms and teachers came to bring food or just to check in. They set up a daycare service the night of the funeral for parents to attend. Other the next few weeks they still showed there love. They would come by with dog food or presents for the kids. The following fall my son was in the four year old my daughter had been in. His teacher offered me a part time job helping out a few hours a day. It was perfect because my youngest was now attending the 2 year old class. Over the course of that year these people became more like family to us. They remember dates and important things. They were there for my kids and me.
This past year I worked there full time with the four year olds. This wasn't something I had ever wanted to do but to my surprise I had a blast. Kids are so pure and innocent. And don't get me wrong being in a room with 23 four year olds can become very stressful but the good always out weighs the bad. One the two year anniversary of Joey's death I didn't go into work. But after a morning of crying and visiting the crash site I knew there was one place I could go and find peace. School.
I was hoping to be there for a few years. A part of me feels like I owe them something because of everything they have done for us. But this was my last year. I will start school full time in the fall. And even though my youngest will still be there it won't be the same.
This school is home to me and these people are family. It's so hard closing this chapter. This past week we had our graduation. The parents made a video of the kids saying why the loved us. These kids absorbed some many things I told them. They enjoy all the silly crafts we made. And even through all the time outs they still love me.
They will never know how much they have helped me grow and heal. Smiles, hugs and laughter it's a beautiful combination of natural medicine.
I am absolutely terrified to start school and chase this dream but I know if anyone is standing behind me it's not only the teachers but all the kids and parents I have met. Sometimes it's easier to do these for others than yourself. I don't want to let anyone down. And so I will push on with the love and thoughts of my preschool family in my heart.