Whether or not there is a belief in God or an afterlife, I would bet that many widowed people talk to their lost loves. The first few months after Mike died I remember that horrific, heart-clenching, shattering new reality that he was not there to talk to anymore. But as time went on I just started talking to him anyway. Sometimes I yelled at him for leaving me. Sometimes now it’s a short I miss you, Mike. I say that a lot. Out loud. Other times I find myself having a longer conversation.
In a few weeks we will hit the four year mark of Mike's death. Four years. On that day I will have survived 1,460 days without him.
I only got 5040 days with him.
Life for those of us left behind continues to speed by. Some days I panic a little that grief has stolen so much time. Then I realize how much grief has taught me, and how much I have grown during this period.Read more
‘We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.’ - Shakespeare, The Tempest
Oh brain, I am in awe…and no small amount of confusion…as to where these images originate…
I've been spending some time here and there working on the book again, organizing all the pages, thoughts, dreams, adventures since Mike died...rereading much of what I've written. It's been so long I have forgotten a lot of the words I've put down, but going through it has brought back much of what I've gone through. It's brought me back in touch with many of the steps and moments I've experienced...the process and processing of my grief, that very personal, individual experience, how I've grown and changed throughout it, how the very picture of my daily life has shifted.