Songs. From the time Michael was killed I remember leaning on music and songs to help speak the words I was feeling, and in a way, let my self realize the reality in front of me.
Sara McLachlan's "Angel" or " I Will Remember You" Goo Goo Doll's "Iris". James Blunt's "Goodbye My Lover"..... and the list goes on. All were songs I played on repeat in the very first months.
As time (and all it offers/explains/doesn't explain) went on, more songs would show them self or speak to me in what I was feeling at the moment. Coldplay's "Fix Me", Sigur Ros' "Hoppipola", and Devotchka's "How it Ends" have all laced my journey of my own unique widowhood.
Some give me a feeling of invincibility in facing my tribulations, while others were great to listen too when I needed a match to light my tear "fire". All have helped me, given me comfort, spoke what I could not and more.
Like any work of art, each song is open to it's own interpretation for those listening to it. The meanings and healing these lyrics and sounds have given me is priceless.
Here is the latest song that definitely defines where I am. The lyrics speak of my undying love and journey (Like WSM mentioned earlier this week) that I am taking with him....now and always.