So What Day

2014-02-14_15.49.52.jpgMy husband, Phil, used to call Valentine’s Day ‘So What Day’…romantic, huh? He thought greeting cards were a waste of trees; that buying flowers because someone told you to defeated the purpose; and that going to dinner on the big day just to eat from a limited menu and have servers anxiously awaiting your departure from the table was ridiculous. I will admit that we fought about this on a few occasions…who wants to be the only girl in the office that didn’t get flowers? Eventually we settled into our own brand of celebrating our love, both on the big day, and on the other 364 days of the year.

I expected to breeze through the first Valentine’s Day without him, because he hated this holiday. But as the day approached, I found myself missing my heart day scrooge. There was no one around to balk at the increase in flower prices. There was no need to peruse the recycled card collection looking for just the right sentiment for my grumpy Valentine, and I cried when I realized there would be no one to take me to dinner at 4:30PM to avoid the crowds. Very quickly I found myself repeating in my head all the reasons to boycott the Hallmark holiday.

When the day arrived I found myself unable to ignore the National Day of Love. Instead of pushing the memories of our on-going struggle to find a happy middle ground for our own celebration out of my mind, I called them each front and center. And I laughed out loud. Recalling the times he showed up in the kitchen with a flower from our garden in hand, the dinners we ‘accidentally’ went to on the 14th of February, my efforts to get him to write me just one letter telling me how much he loved me (I was successful), and finally, the fact that he proposed to me on Valentine’s Day…I felt loved.

And I guess that is the point of the day after all. Even though Phil never contributed to the romance testaments proudly placed on desks across America, I never doubted that he loved me.  Ten years later, I still think of him on Valentine’s Day…and feel completely loved. 


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  • commented 2016-02-13 15:31:53 -0800
    Thank you for sharing your story, Lisa. I love that you buy a card each year to honor your love.
  • commented 2016-02-12 23:36:36 -0800
    Michele my husband too balked at Valentine’s Day. But maybe out of fear of seeing me disappointed faithfully got me a card each year. I still have and cherish them all. And now each Valentine’s Day I get a special card for him, write to him lovingly just like I used to, and tuck the card away with all of his. It’s become an annual ritual, and I like it. No matter where this after life takes me I’ll always stop and remember each year.

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