Stephanie Vendrell

Breaking Home

If you’ve been following the slow-motion event that is the foreclosure on my home here in Hawaii, there is an update. The commissioner who was appointed to handle the auction did a site inspection today. I am waiting to hear the dates for the two open houses she is required to hold, probably in November. Soon after that, auction will be scheduled and held. After it is confirmed that it was sold by the court…that’s it. We vacate.

 

Even though I knew it was coming, I still collapsed in tears today. This has been my home for 16 years…12 of them happy years with my husband. And I am grateful I’ve had nearly five more, and much of that time has been shared with my boyfriend…who is being extremely gracious, generous and supportive, by the way.

 

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  • commented on Breaking Home 2017-10-16 21:44:36 -0700
    Lisa- funny how widowhood relates to boot camp…or not so much, maybe. Unfortunately it’s not an eight week program, but just keeps happening and happening. I love the encouraging quote though and will surely use it myself!!
    Cathy- Cathy, your experience nails it too: never ending boot camp. And leaving a space you have had for so long is heart-wrenching. I try to think of the new and good, but sometimes, it is really just so hard.

  • commented on Always Surprise Yourself 2017-09-11 04:40:35 -0700
    And it brings back the reminder, life is like a rollercoaster. In all its ups and downs, the reluctance to even get on, the thrill of it…and the fears and horrors. Sarah I thank you for your frankness and willingness to share these deep parts of yourself which we share in our own ways. We are all, us widowed people, rediscovering ourselves every day, and take courage in your adventures. Hugs.

  • commented on Another Day 2017-09-07 14:48:44 -0700
    Oh Tracy I am so, so sorry. What a terrible tragedy. And such a horrific time for you. Glad you found us. Contact Soaring Spirits, Michele will send you some support. And we all out here send you ours. Lots of hugs.

  • commented on This Terrible Club 2017-09-02 23:01:56 -0700
    Indeed, Lisa.

  • commented on Sorry Too Late 2017-08-24 15:05:45 -0700
    Thank you Don, Margaret and Liz…hard feelings to share.

  • commented on Missing You Always 2017-08-18 16:03:32 -0700
    Thank you Gayle. The missing them never stops. Hugs.

  • commented on Here I Stand 2017-08-18 16:08:21 -0700
    Thank you Sharon. Interesting that you didn’t make 14 years either. I will be thinking of you on August 26. That is my parents’ anniversary, they will be 56 years, hard to believe, both living, though dad not doing well. Seems the fates deal us each such different hands. Hugs and blessings to you.

  • commented on That Moment 2017-08-03 23:23:59 -0700
    Joseph, that is a really nice thought, thank you, that it is a sign of him looking over me. I will try to remember that next time. Lisa, hug.

  • commented on The Tree of Grief 2017-07-28 14:41:39 -0700
    Diane, I am so touched that you were inspired to reach out. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. As Joseph said, loss of a child must absolutely be the worst, and I am grateful that you have found Soaring Spirits to be of some solace to you, and have experienced some rebirth of life after your terrible loss. Sending a big hug.

    Joseph, your partner sounds like she was an absolutely wonderful person. What a hole in our lives after losing our rocks, to be sure. Thank you again for your great support, and hugs to you too.

  • commented on Rattled 2017-07-29 16:18:57 -0700
    Indie, it really seems like it doesn’t get any easier, I’m also four and a half years along. Wish I had a magic answer. Community is the only way I feel I have been able to survive, so I’m glad you have found your way to Soaring Spirits. Hug.

  • commented on Meet Wendy and Ben 2017-07-13 19:06:32 -0700
    Welcome, Wendy, though I wish you had not reason to join this terrible club. My deepest condolences on your loss. Yes, we want them to be remembered…and so we write, indeed. Blessings to you and your family.

  • commented on The Meaning of Teeth 2017-07-15 23:22:33 -0700
    Indie, you nailed it….being loved brought great meaning, and without it…busy is just not able to cut it, though we do try. I am glad you are here at Soaring Spirits, community and support is so important, so many caring and loving people here. Big hug.

  • commented on Say Goodbye to the Fridge 2017-07-10 01:54:59 -0700
    Carol, I am deeply sorry for your loss. It’s early for you and the days are so hard, every single one. I too believe I will see my love again but that doesn’t make the days here without him seem easier…well, maybe, but, since I have nothing to compare it too…still hard. I am glad you are seeing a counselor, she helped me so much.
    Susan…holidays are so hard, every single one. It does all seem anticlimactic, good way to put it. As does every other day. Hugs to you. Thank you for sharing.

  • commented on My Final Blog 2017-07-06 16:14:51 -0700
    Hi Michelle, can’t believe it’s been a year already. We are blessed and grateful to have had you here at Soaring Spirits sharing your life and your grief. I wish you peace on your journey.

  • commented on Just Another Week 2017-06-30 02:31:53 -0700
    Yes, Lisa, so uncertain now, without them. Sigh indeed. Sharon, yes, another week in a widow’s life…a terrible club but glad not to be alone in it all. Hugs to you both.

  • commented on His Heart and Mine 2017-06-23 03:19:01 -0700
    Sharon, someone told me once that if a person reaches 60 they are likely to reach 80, but that many people indeed die before that. I have met many widows whose husbands died at 59. I just find it a thought to ponder.
    I think Brian was much like Mike. Hated to face a life in which they couldn’t do all they wanted to do. It brings a deep, sad sigh. But you’re right. Doesn’t make us miss them less. Hugs.

  • commented on Post-traumatic Growth 2017-06-16 16:13:10 -0700
    Oh Liz, one week, what a horrible time, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I am glad you found Soaring Spirits. I know I speak for everyone here when I send you love and hugs and support during this difficult time. It just sucks, and yes, right now it’s all about just survival.

  • commented on Soul Searching 2017-06-09 00:17:03 -0700
    Thank you, Sharon. It’s strange to think of all the happy families secured in a kind of peace and security while we still seek that, or perhaps better, seek it yet again, after our losses, in middle age. But as you said, we have our own paths, and must simply keep walking. Love to you too.

  • commented on Killer Lonliness 2017-06-01 23:25:58 -0700
    Marilyn, what an experience you have gone through. I am so sorry for your troubles. I think you are absolutely right about the driving force behind addiction. Loneliness is indeed a terrible thing and due to our widowed state, a very stark and devastating reality for many of us. Thank you for sharing and commenting and being part of the community.
    Donna, I get that. I feel that too many days, existing, not living. I’m glad you have your sons. And grateful you can come here and share and get support. Lots of love.
    Sharon, wow the Camino how awesome!! I always wanted to do that! I think that’s a great way to get out there and look for peace and purpose. Meanwhile, so sad about the date today for you. Those anniversaries are so, so hard. But as I said to Donna I am sure glad we have this place to come together. Bless you.

Writer, widow, lover of life. Join me on my journey of personal transformation. Blogger for hire. #RodanAndFields consultant - clinical anti-aging skin care.
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