Here's my happy face. This smile isn't fake, it was very sincere at that moment - I'm sure the free margaritas were enough to buy some sincerity, but I could be wrong. ;-)
In the first months after Daniel died I didn't feel like I put on a happy face. I didn't feel capable of it. I've heard from others that I did and I seemed to be "okay". Three and a half years later, I don't have to put on a happy face. Most days I just have one on naturally. I've found lots of things to be grateful for, and lots of things to focus on that make me happy. Obviously Grayson plays a large role in my happy face! But it is also the littlest things that do it: a hot cup of coffee, a call from a friend, a day with no firedrills at work :).
Right now some bigger things put a smile on my face. My new job, although incredibly challenging, is going great and I'm happy to be there every day. I've found a new house, close on it in a few weeks, and I love it. I can't wait to move in, put my stamp on it, and make it my own. I'm living closer to lots and lots of loving family (which is growing as we speak..congrats David and Leslie!) and am already enjoying the extra time with all of them. Grayson is enjoying his summer camp and growing like a weed, our tickle fight this morning was enough to keep the smile on my face most of the day! :)
Alright, so what is my point? I don't know really, but I sometimes have to remind myself of the things that make it all worth while. I don't always have sunshine shooting from my major orifices...but I do make an effort to be glass half full (while my widow self waits for the other shoe to drop). It doesn't take much for me to see the bright side, but making a list of all of the good things is a great place to begin. So, that is my start to the day on this hot Tuesday in Austin Texas.