Grief. Love. Magic. A new road. A new life~

Becalmed and Adrift~

It is as if I am a ship that is becalmed in the ocean.

Stillness all around me, even as I am aware of movement and chatter around me.

But my world seems still.  Even as it moves around me.

Doldrums is the term used to describe the ocean when the winds have disappeared and ships lay still.  I’ve read of sailor’s accounts of the eeriness of such an event.

The strange thing about both of these terms, as I use them to describe me and my widow life, are that they aren’t actually true, I suppose.

I’ve been in motion continually in these 4 years since Chuck died.  And the world around me has certainly continued moving.

It just doesn’t feel that way to me.

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Just me, trying to figure this shit out, after the firestorm of my beloved husband's death~
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