It is my pleasure to introduce you to our new Sunday blog author, Kim T. Hamer. Five months ago Kim lost her husband, Art, to cancer. She was his caregiver. She is the mother of his children. She is a working professional, an unwillingly single mom, a bright and energetic lady, and a powerful writer. And we will experience all of this, and more, here on this blog every Sunday.
My job as editor of Widow's Voice is only one of the many roles I play professionally, but leading this group of women is one of the responsibilities I most enjoy. There are risks in sharing your widow journey with the world at large via the wide, wide world of the Internet. Being honest sometimes leads to severe criticism. Writing about the parts of widowhood that we sometimes don't even talk to our friends about can be a risky endeavor. There have been a few, "Why didn't you tell me?" and "I never knew this day was that hard for you." and "How come I have to read about this on your blog?" type of comments for most of the blog writers I know. Then there are the darker comments, "Shouldn't you be past this?" and "Do you think talking about this (blank) years later is a little over the top?" and once someone thought that I should "Stop writing about death already, and spend a bit more time on your life." Wow. I wanted badly to know if that person were married, and if their spouse was still alive. But we often never know what is behind some of the barbed responses that are par for the course if you share your innermost thoughts with the Internet crowd.
So why do we do this? What makes us write week after week about the things that drive us, make us cry, cause a few belly laughs, and especially the darkness that sometimes threatens to swallow us whole? I can only answer for myself, but for me I write because Phil's death needs to be more than just a tragedy. Reaching out to others makes being dealt this deck a little more palatable. I am convinced that I will never find a purpose for Phil's death (I've been through plenty and none of them are even close to good enough), but I can create something from the pieces I have left. And so I write. Thanks for sharing your journey with us, thanks for embracing Widow's Voice as a place to find hope amidst the sorrow, and thanks for continuing to tell us what helps you put one foot in front of the other day after day.
Welcome aboard Kim, this is a really great place to be.