Mike Welker

Three months after my discharge from the Marine Corps, at 22 years old, I met my wife Megan, on December 10th, 2002. The very next day, I was drawn like a moth to a flame into dealing with a long term, terminal illness. Megan had Cystic Fibrosis, and after 8 years or declining health, she received a double lung transplant, and a new lease o life. Our daughter Shelby was born in 2007.   In early 2014, those recycled lungs, which had brought our little family three years of uncomplicated health and happiness, finally began to give out.  She died from chronic organ transplant rejection on November 19th, 2014 while I held her hand and let her go.   I'm a single father and widower at 34 years old, and no one has published a manual for it.  I don't fit the mold, because there is no mold.  I "deal with it" through morbid humor, inappropriateness, anger, and the general vulgarity of the 22 year old me, as if I never grew up, but temper it with focus on raising a tenacious, smart, and strong woman in Shelby.  I try to live as if Megan is still here with us, giving me that sarcastic stare because yet again, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

New Year, New You!

New year, new you!


(Scene: Black and white video of someone crying)


Do you suffer from grief?  Tired of going through life thinking about your dead loved one?  When you go to the grocery store, do you see a favorite food of your late loved one, and immediately make your way to the wine and tissue aisle?


(Scene: Cut to oversaturated video of a person playing with kittens and eating ice cream, while riding in a boat, or better yet, a  scene OF kittens eating ice cream in a tiny, adorable boat)


Now for the low price of $19.95 (plus $8.95 shipping and handling), anyone can re-invent themselves!  No stubborn cleanup, and no frustrating, back-breaking work!  Introducing: New Year’s Resolution! This wonder of nature uses the rare extract of the Romanian turnip, prized by wizards for centuries for it’s mystical properties.  Non-widows don’t want you to know, but now science has proven that with just one New Year’s Resolution, even YOU can enjoy a happy, stress free day without guilt!


Call now!  The first 19 orders will receive a second bottle, absolutely free!  

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Of the many titles I've held (Marine, Husband, Engineer, Brother, Son, Uncle), the one I am most proud of is "Father"
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