Kelley Lynn

When I first lost my husband to sudden death, I knew absolutely nobody that was my age who was widowed. The word "widow" made me cringe, and I ran away from any possibility that it could or would ever apply to me. Then I discovered Soaring Spirits and Camp Widow. Here were these people - hundreds of them - all over the country and the world - who were just like me. They had lost their partners too, and they were hurting and feeling alone too. Except suddenly, none of us were alone anymore, because now we had each other. The widowed community that I have met through Soaring Spirits is a HUGE part of the reason why I am alive and WANTING to be alive today. No joke. My widowed friends save my life over and over and over again, and I love them in a way that is impossible to describe. Soaring Spirits connects widowed people, and when you lose the person you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with - connection to people who "get it" means everything. My friends in the widowed community are evidence that there is life - joyful life - after loss. They inspire me daily, and I will always pay it forward however I can to Soaring Spirits, for giving me back my life again.

  • commented on No Pie for Me, Thanks 2015-11-26 16:15:30 -0800
    Hug to you today. I know its very hard. I spent it with some good friends and it was a nice day, but there were some moments where I thought I would lose it.

  • commented on Fighting the stigma 2015-11-21 09:38:56 -0800
    Yes. And you have EVERY right to feel every emotion that you have, no matter how confusing and back and forth they might be. Your head knows that suicide is not a choice and that Dan was fighting a battle against himself really – but your heart and soul gets angry and the grief says “how could you leave me? How?” It makes total sense to me, and each time you make the choice to get up each day as a suicide widow AND help others understand this better, you are someones hero. And so is Dan. I miss you and cant wait to see you again at a future Camp Widow hopefully ….

  • commented on Echo 2015-11-20 17:09:02 -0800
    Thank you everyone for your awesome thoughts on this. So glad Im not alone in these feelings. Yes, Karen, it is scary to feel so needy and then ashamed of those feelings. I hate it too. It feels like theres no anchor anymore, and it makes all the other voices sound louder.

  • commented on Be Warned. Capitol Letters Used Frequently~ 2015-11-18 09:00:42 -0800
    YES!!!! I love this so much, Im going to share it!!! You rock too, woman!!!

  • commented on A Year in Review 2015-11-17 17:08:38 -0800
    youre a great dad, and Ill be thinking of you this week, especially Thursday.
    p.s. Shelby looks just like her in this picture.

  • commented on Not 51 2015-11-07 08:32:15 -0800
    Thank you for the understanding everyone. You all rock.

  • commented on Backward is Forward 2015-11-03 14:30:48 -0800
    Thank you thank you thank you to all of you !!!

  • commented on When Great Trees Fall 2015-11-03 14:28:10 -0800
    They existed.

  • commented on Grieving your own Death 2015-11-03 14:26:39 -0800
    SHe sounds like a beautiful and brave soul. I wish you much love and peace these coming weeks ahead.

  • commented on Visits of Comfort 2015-11-01 07:12:43 -0800
    God it had to be SO wonderful having her there. I know how much Halloween meant to you and Drew, and Im sure it was different this year and maybe even a bit weird. You talking about being homesick really brings me back to Don’s move to NJ. He was very homesick for Florida, and all the little things he could do there that he just couldnt do up here, like ride his bike outside year round , or play golf year round, or park his car without PAYING a fee or getting a ticket. I remember feeling so guilty everytime he seemed sad or missed his friends and life in Florida. I probably over compensated because of that, and was always trying really hard to make him feel like this was his HOME and that people loved him here. I wish like hell I could tell him how much it meant to me that he moved his entire life to be with me and take a chance on us. I definitely didnt tell him that NEARLY enough, how muich I appreciated that and admired it. It was so courageous, just like what you are doing. So if Mike hasnt told you already, whcih Im sure he has, Ill tell you what I should have told Don many times – thank you for taking this risk and for sacrificing so much for love.

  • commented on Ride Along 2015-10-29 13:45:26 -0700
    Its a tragedy that nobody else has commented on this amazing blog post lol. This is truly beautiful and everything you say makes so much sense. and Im so glad I was one of the people at that table on that fateful night in Florida ……

  • commented on To Grief or Not to Grief, and What's Normal or Not? 2015-10-29 13:34:49 -0700
    Oh man, I relate to this so much, especially the part about analyzing our own grief and our own mind like a self-therapist. I do this constantly, and I drive myself nuts. When your own therapist is telling you to chill out, you know you need to stop over analyzing every emotion lol. She is always saying to me “just feel your feelings. Stop trying to dissect them AS youre having them, youre exhausting yourself out. Its no wonder you dont sleep well”. Ha!
    Im so sorry about your dad, and it makes total sense why you are having the non-reaction to it rigiht now. It will most likely all come out much later on, at some random time, and then it will hit you in that fun way that grief tsunami’s like to do. But right now, living with death and grief has numbed you and tired your brain and heart out for the time being. Its okay. Theres nothing wrong with you. This shit just sucks.

  • commented on Inspiration 2015-10-29 13:24:58 -0700
    this is beautiful, and I try to stop it all the time too. Every single day. Thank you for this.

  • commented on The Things We Carry 2015-10-26 17:38:03 -0700
    oh Tricia, what a beautiful last post. I will miss reading your blogs on Mondays. Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary – would have been 9 years – very rough day for me. But reading your words about having real love , even for a very short time, has made me have a slight change in perspective tonight when I start thinking about tomorrow and what it represents. Thank you for that.

  • commented on The Big Move 2015-10-25 08:59:24 -0700
    I cried when I read what Mike said to you. Perfect. And yes, joy and pain will always exist in the same breathe for us. I have learned to accept this too. I love you. Mommy.

  • commented on Grief Timeline 2015-10-24 08:58:48 -0700
    ps LOOK!!! Im at the top of the leaderboard!!! I want a prize!!!! lol

  • commented on A New Chapter Begins 2015-10-20 07:11:07 -0700
    Oooh I love the way this one ends. I cant wait to read it either, and this is exactly how I feel about Don, like he is a part of everything I do going forward from now on, and like he often somehow helps to orchestrate it or point me in the right direction. Sarahs move reminds me so much of Don’s move from Florida to NJ. He put his whole life (including his cat) in that Pensky truck and took a risk on a new life with me. What a beautiful thing that is to remember.

  • commented on Always and Never 2015-10-18 07:23:42 -0700
    Yes, Carolyn, you can quote me or share my words (I posted the link to this blog on my Facebook so you can share that if you want, or click share from this site), and yes, I would appreciate giving me credit for my words. As long as you do that, you definitely have my permission. One time I found a meme being passed around with MY quote on it and it didnt say who wrote it , and it really annoyed me because I have no idea who created it without putting my name on it. Thats just rude. Anyway, love you all!!!!

  • commented on A Bold Step Forward 2015-10-18 07:17:54 -0700
    Wow that is beyond awesome and brave. Very proud of you and happy for you!!!

  • commented on To Choose Pain 2015-10-13 13:09:43 -0700
    Beautiful post, and brings back memories of rummaging through our storage unit , 14 months after he died, when I was forced to move out of our apartment. I was going through not only my life in boxes, but his, because almost everything he owned that didnt fit in our tiny apartment, was in that storage unit. There were pieces of him in there that I didnt even know about, or that I wanted to know more about, and it was very very hard. Love you !

Kelley is a comedian, writer, actor, and speaker living in NYC. She married her soul-mate and best friend Don, in October of 2006. She was 35, and he was 42. Just over four years later, he would die shockingly from a massive heart-attack. Kelley has turne
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