Kelley Lynn

When I first lost my husband to sudden death, I knew absolutely nobody that was my age who was widowed. The word "widow" made me cringe, and I ran away from any possibility that it could or would ever apply to me. Then I discovered Soaring Spirits and Camp Widow. Here were these people - hundreds of them - all over the country and the world - who were just like me. They had lost their partners too, and they were hurting and feeling alone too. Except suddenly, none of us were alone anymore, because now we had each other. The widowed community that I have met through Soaring Spirits is a HUGE part of the reason why I am alive and WANTING to be alive today. No joke. My widowed friends save my life over and over and over again, and I love them in a way that is impossible to describe. Soaring Spirits connects widowed people, and when you lose the person you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with - connection to people who "get it" means everything. My friends in the widowed community are evidence that there is life - joyful life - after loss. They inspire me daily, and I will always pay it forward however I can to Soaring Spirits, for giving me back my life again.

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It is so very difficult trying to explain to someone who doesn't know - what Soaring Spirits International and their biggest program, Camp Widow -means to me. Camp Widow is something that you simply cannot comprehend until you have been there inside the environment. And yet, nobody would want to be in the position to be able to attend, because that means you would have paid the ultimate price - losing your life partner and love to death. And trust me, you do NOT want to be a person in the position to have the requirements to attend Camp Widow. You just don't. 

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  • commented on Paper Bag 2016-06-10 17:55:00 -0700
    That does help Penny. It always helps to know my thoughts arent completely crazy. I didnt think this one would make much sense to anyone else but me, but I guess it does. Thanks!

  • commented on The Family I Never Knew I Needed 2016-05-28 12:32:53 -0700
    You look gorgeous in this picture, and more importantly, HAPPY! You are glowing. I always love it when I see that glow come back into someones eyes in pictures, including my own pictures, after seeing my eyes so deadened and sad looking for so long. I cant wait to hug you and see you in just a few weeks!!!!

  • commented on A Light In the Dark - My Tribute to Soaring Spirits International 2016-05-28 12:30:38 -0700
    PENNY!!! I am sooo happy to hear this. I am always thrilled whenever my words help to get someone to camp, because I know for a fact that being there changes your world and your heart, and makes things a lot less SUCKY going forward. Make sure that you find me in Toronto and introduce yourself so we can sit down for a drink or something, okay??? This way, you will immediately have at least one friend guaranteed. And believe me, you will walk out of there with many more <3

  • commented on Existence 2016-05-25 21:24:25 -0700
    I love this. You explain your emotions so well, so that I totally understand what is going on inside your brain. Thank you.

  • commented on Pre-planning your Emotional Response to Death...Ain't it Precious? 2016-05-25 11:49:47 -0700

  • commented on Unresolved 2016-05-18 08:24:30 -0700
    This is brave and so well written, and I LOVE the last line. This whole thing just shows how nothing is ever REALLY resolved, and life is about always learning and growing and changing, and slowly healing pieces of our past in the love that we find in second chances. I think its awesome that you want to work on these areas of yourself, and its very healthy. Good for you.

  • commented on It Took Me Ten Years 2016-05-16 13:22:08 -0700
    I love this sooooo much, but not as much as I love you, friend. 5 years, and I still hold near and dear to me, certain items and clothing of Don’s, that Im not sure I will ever be ready to part with. And his chair. His old torn-up “Archie Bunker” recliner chair that has made two moves with me so far since his death. I know I will have to let that chair go one day, because I cant keep putting it in moving vans forever – its near death already just sitting in place. And that day will be super hard. But today is not that day. Today, I sit in that chair and feel comfort because he sat there too, so many times.

  • commented on The Big Trigger 2016-05-15 09:55:48 -0700
    Oh my god, I can soooo relate. That week when R wasnt talking to me , did the exact same tthing to me – it brought me right back to “week one, month one, day one, year one, of Don’s death” – right back, like I was transported there again and thought I was there, and my emotions were so confused , all I could do was sob and sob and sob until it hurt. IT WAS AWFUL. Such a trigger and one I didnt expect. It felt like he had just disappeared into thin air and I thought I was never going to talk to him again, that it was just DONE – and then I went back to Don disappearing and my heart got so confused. Oh, it was awful, and scary to think that after almost 5 years, that can happen whenever it feels like it. And like you, the second I heard his voice again (in my case, a week later), it brought me back to reality. I soooo understand this. Its different of course, the details … but I know the exact feeling you are describing. Brave on, my friend. I miss you mommy lol.

  • commented on Taking Another Step Forward 2016-05-14 09:22:45 -0700
    congrats, brave one, and you know that I know just how complex that word really is. Your home is beautiful. Take those memories with you forever, and hold them in your soul. i cannot wait to see you next month !!!!

  • commented on The 5-Year Itch 2016-05-13 10:41:56 -0700
    ROBYN, thats the perfect way to say it, LIKE A TORNADO of all these emotions at once!!!! Yes. Im so glad you decided to comment today, and also happy that my words resonate with you so much. Lets try and navigate this whole 5 year mess together!!!!

  • commented on The Champ 2016-05-12 17:22:59 -0700
    Gosh DIANE Im soooo sorry, you can vent here anytime you want to, you are never alone, we are here , even though we are far away. Im sorry the outside world doesnt get it, they probably never truly will. But we do. Youre going to be okay – eventually. It takes a long time and its very hard, but just keep breathing ….

  • commented on A Letter from Before, and Beyond 2016-05-05 13:06:09 -0700
    Wow wow wow!!!! I think you will know when its time to show her the letter. I think it will be a time when she is going through something, a milestone of growing up , or having her heart broken or being disappointed somehow with something – and in that moment, she will be missing her mom and missing knowing what her mom might have said to her right then. And then you will have that letter. What a beautiful thing.

  • commented on Prince Died Today. And I Can't Tell You. 2016-04-29 17:44:08 -0700
    Thank you Jill!!!

  • commented on Growing Me Up 2016-04-18 07:03:00 -0700
    ………. and now the comment below mine has me crying even more. DIANE , Im the Friday writer here at Widows voice, and wow!!!! Your story about your dad , AND your son, is absolutely beautiful. You probably wont even see my comment but just in case – you rock!!!!

  • commented on Dreams Coming True 2016-04-16 07:54:36 -0700
    Im soooo proud of you. This is HUGE and so much work, but the kind of work that makes you filled with happiness and purpose. You rock!!!!

  • commented on Passion from Pain 2016-04-10 07:48:04 -0700
    I love you. That is all I can get out right now, but just know that.

  • commented on Back to Start 2016-04-09 18:32:12 -0700
    You are all so amazing. Thank you. No energy to write much else right now, except thank you. Long day of being “strong” and out in public pretending all is okay, so now its time to go cry some more …. thank you for being here. I love you all.

  • commented on Journey of Self-discovery 2016-04-05 17:36:15 -0700
    Yeah. She really would be. Beautiful story.

  • commented on The Landscape of Love after Love 2016-04-03 06:25:54 -0700
    Yeah. I soooo get this. But give yourself some credit, dear friend. You are doing so much better with adjusting and with love after love, than you think you are. Look at how MUCH adjusting you have had to do. More than most people. And not for nothing, but you just moved your ENTIRE LIFE from Texas to Ohio, not to mention “instant 9 year old” in your life. That is enough to throw anyone into a tailspin of constant emotions, and look at you. You are doing such a beautiful job of stepping into THIS life, the one you have today. Yes, you have many mixed emotions about it, but like you said, thats no reflection on you or Mike , its just love after love. And, man, is it ever complicated. But so worth it to find someone to share life with again. By the way, this picture of you and the landscape itself iis gorgeous. Love you to pieces, and always love my Sunday morning “coffee and read Sarahs blog” routine. xo.

  • commented on The Home That Doesn't Quite Fit Anymore 2016-04-02 07:43:00 -0700
    These types of decisions are soooo hard for so many reasons. Different circumstances, but I moved out of OUR apartment abotu 14 months after he died. I just couldnt be there anymore, surrounded by stuff and things that were part of a life that no longer existed. Like you, I felt like I didnt fit there anymore. I get it. Leaving there will be VERY hard once it actually happens, it will be extremely emotional, but I think once you do it, it will improve and open up your life greatly , and in ways you cant possibly see right now. So good for you, brave one. So excited to see you in June!

Kelley is a comedian, writer, actor, and speaker living in NYC. She married her soul-mate and best friend Don, in October of 2006. She was 35, and he was 42. Just over four years later, he would die shockingly from a massive heart-attack. Kelley has turne
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