Kelley Lynn

When I first lost my husband to sudden death, I knew absolutely nobody that was my age who was widowed. The word "widow" made me cringe, and I ran away from any possibility that it could or would ever apply to me. Then I discovered Soaring Spirits and Camp Widow. Here were these people - hundreds of them - all over the country and the world - who were just like me. They had lost their partners too, and they were hurting and feeling alone too. Except suddenly, none of us were alone anymore, because now we had each other. The widowed community that I have met through Soaring Spirits is a HUGE part of the reason why I am alive and WANTING to be alive today. No joke. My widowed friends save my life over and over and over again, and I love them in a way that is impossible to describe. Soaring Spirits connects widowed people, and when you lose the person you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with - connection to people who "get it" means everything. My friends in the widowed community are evidence that there is life - joyful life - after loss. They inspire me daily, and I will always pay it forward however I can to Soaring Spirits, for giving me back my life again.

Coming Along for the Ride

Don Shepherd likes to send me great, big, obvious signs. I never question that it's him. I just know. One of the signs he sends over and over, is the big yellow Penske moving truck.

On Superbowl Sunday, 2005, Don pulled up in a big yellow Penske truck, with his car attached and his cat in his lap, after driving 24 hours to New Jersey from Florida - and we began our new adventure together. He moved into my apartment and turned it from a place to live, into a home. He would ask me to be his wife 10 months later, and we would be married 4 years and 9 months before his sudden death. The Penske truck, to me, represents new beginnings. I usually see it a lot this time of year - and I usually see it right after I was thinking about or talking about Don. When he is coming in strongest, I will see lots of them right in a row, while driving. Or one will be parked somewhere significant, on a milestone kind of day. Whenever I see one, I say " Hi, Don." It's become part of my vocabulary and a normal part of life.

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  • commented on Flowers, Cake, and Change 2018-01-21 20:16:56 -0800
    thank you carol. Your words are very kind xoxo

  • commented on The End is Lurking 2018-01-13 11:45:28 -0800
    Yes, Chris!! The heart pounding as you sit and think how you just wont exist anymore someday, I thought I was the only one lol. thank you for making me feel slightly less crazy with my thoughts :) I wish you peaceful nights of lovely sleep. Those are hard for me!

  • commented on Walking in the Snow 2018-01-13 11:39:42 -0800
    Great visuals Gabe. Love it!

  • commented on Happy Birthday to Michele, just one L ... 2017-12-30 16:33:51 -0800
    Kim, Im so sorry. Try to breathe. Hang on. And I will for sure give you a big hug in March.

    Thank you Candace and Staci. I believe this too, that we all have this bit of magic in us.

  • commented on The Obnoxious Holiday Letter 2017-12-29 12:27:51 -0800
    Carolyn I would love to see one of those letters if you can find it!!!! Darren sounds awesome!!!
    HAHA Cathy it will soon be time for my valentines video again lol.

  • commented on Have a Friggin Holly Jolly Christmas 2017-12-22 09:31:33 -0800
    thats what I tell myself often, when I dont want to do something or when it sucks. That at least I have the honor of being ABLE to do x thing, and all Don gets to do is keep being dead. As silly as it sounds, it does help me out of my rut some. :)

  • commented on Happy Hellidays 2017-12-16 07:43:20 -0800
    Happy Hellidays!

  • commented on Wherever You Are, It's Okay 2017-12-16 07:47:29 -0800
    THank you Grace …. I am definitely enjoying it … I feel like ALL my emotions are amped up lately…. at full blast… happy, sad, all of it …. its at full volume…

  • commented on Through the Roof 2017-12-10 08:42:17 -0800
    thank you Linda. I appreciate your kind words.

  • commented on Woodland Preacher 2017-12-08 08:08:08 -0800
    This is truly beautiful and speaks as to WHY nature is so calming and comforting to so many (including me.) And I love all the quotes,especially the last one.

  • commented on Untitled 2017-12-04 08:24:29 -0800
    Ive been having a TON of those “Ijust miss him” moments lately. Im wondering if new love brings out the grief more. Or,like you said, maybe there just isnt a reason at all. Maybe the reason is as simple as that they are dead, and we will miss them forever.

  • commented on The Jury Has Made a Decision ... 2017-12-03 13:03:03 -0800
    THanks Candace. Carolyn, you are too kind.
    Kathie, sieze the moment indeed!
    Paula, sure. Maybe you can email me at kelleyiskelley@gmail.com and give me the details of how youd like to post it in your blog.
    Thanks for all the support everyone.

  • commented on Revisiting the First Thanksgiving 2017-11-19 08:57:40 -0800
    Yes!!! I needed to hate and ignore christmas for a couple years, ssothat I could eventuallylove it again. That empty chair though… wow lol.

  • commented on A New Dawn 2017-11-15 17:27:24 -0800
    Your workshop was beautiful. It brought out emotions in me that I didnt even know were there, or what they meant. Thank you.

  • commented on I Dream of Wandering 2017-11-15 17:22:00 -0800
    Thank you for explaining the deeper meaning of why you wrote wandering. Very insightful :)

  • commented on Life Goes On 2017-11-03 18:14:30 -0700
    Diane, those pockets of joy are what its all about. Hold onto them tight. They will come more often in time. Promise :) And keep telling your son’s story and saying his name.

  • commented on Views from Auschwitz 2017-10-14 11:46:34 -0700
    they had names. really beautiful post.

  • commented on Moment of Silence for Football Widows .... 2017-10-12 09:16:28 -0700
    Hahaha!!!! Youre right Don. I neglected to mention shopping widows. You too, deserve a day.

Kelley is a comedian, writer, actor, and speaker living in NYC. She married her soul-mate and best friend Don, in October of 2006. She was 35, and he was 42. Just over four years later, he would die shockingly from a massive heart-attack. Kelley has turne
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