Next week I am flying interstate to visit another widow who has become my grief sister. I have been so excited for this trip, and I still cannot wait to see her. But this morning when I woke, for the first time in a while, I woke full of fear. I woke and wished that John was coming with me. I wished I could join him. And for the most part since I woke, I have been consumed once again in memories of him. Memories of our last holiday together.
I wish that John were here to meet my grief sister, but I never would have met her if he were. I wonder and hope that he will be with me, I can picture him laughing with us. I know this trip is something he would be proud of me for doing. But thinking of being there in just a few days, being away from everything that reminds me of him, gives me an odd feeling. For so long I have tried to escape reality. I have wanted to get away to a place with no memories, and now that it’s happening I wish that he were here to create more memories. I feel lonely at the thought of being somewhere without our memories.Read more