52 Year Old Cancer Widower

This is a place I can go knowing that I am not the only person who suffers from this awful emotion called Grief.

  • commented on Rattled 2017-07-21 04:35:24 -0700
    Triggers…Hallmark Cards store, Any grocery store, Flea markets, (any kind of shopping), all triggers. They are unavoidable.

  • commented on A Widow Summer~ 2017-07-19 06:51:11 -0700 · Flag
    Good luck with your inspirational venture. We all had our stories and many of our stories had good chapters and not so good chapters. Our story ended on a great chapter until she died in which, in turn, made it a sad chapter. I constantly find myself thinking what life would be like if she was still here with me. In our story we were in the best place that we ever were in our 16 years of being together. And it is sad she was taken away from me at a time when we could’ve finally fulfilled our love and our life together.

  • commented on Life Getting in the Way 2017-07-18 08:31:18 -0700
    Although my grief is still fresh I know exactly what you are saying. I sat and had a meal with her three daughters and it was a great time with food and conversation. When we split up and went our separate ways afterwards it was a trigger because I knew if she had lived she would be in the car sitting next to me talking about how nice it was to be with the kids. But I was the loneliest of feelings that made me tear up.

  • commented on Grief Lessons in Nature 2017-07-17 00:53:28 -0700
    I get what you’re saying. But I feel like diverted water that was headed down the stream and now I’m stuck in a puddle where the water around me has evaporated and my only hope is for more water to get me over the threshold.

  • commented on How Are You 2017-07-17 10:37:56 -0700
    Likewise Wendy, it’s sad to know that there are many out there like you and I but in a strange way it’s also comforting to know that we are not alone.

  • commented on Grief Travels 2017-07-16 14:05:09 -0700
    Although my since departed and I had never married we had so many incredible memories. I fear leaving my space because of the same reasons in this writing. Wishing she was with me, wishing she was there creating more memories. I use to say to her we created so many great memories for the kids but never did I say we created so many great memories for us. Only now that that she’s gone those memories have come to the forefront. I miss her beyond words.

  • commented on The Meaning of Teeth 2017-07-13 08:36:07 -0700 · Flag
    Only existing while trying to find new purpose is very difficult. In time most say you find new purpose but it is elusive especially when you get the grief trigger. Grief is hell!!

  • commented on (Not) Every Day is Special 2017-07-11 06:36:08 -0700
    Mike, since my loss is so recent (May 12th, 2017) I have yet to experience her birthday (November 29th) after her passing but I’m already dreading it along with the entire holiday season (which she was so into). I know its going to be a bad time for me. I just have to figure out how I’m going to get through it.

  • commented on Meet Wendy and Ben 2017-07-11 06:28:28 -0700
    “I want to figure out how to live my best life without the greatest man I ever knew” When you figure it out please let me know because I haven’t figured it out either. In my case it was my fiancé Karen who passed on May 12th 2017.

  • commented on Where Do They Go? 2017-07-07 10:40:59 -0700
    I fear losing the memories. I hold her close in my heart but I still fear it. I know I will love her for eternity but there is always that fear.

  • commented on Dusky Nights into Morning~ 2017-07-05 08:01:54 -0700
    " when my soul says okay here it is, another day without him, time to get up and tackle it…

    It takes everything in me to just fucking do it. One more time."

    I feel exactly what you are saying here. Another day without her, the world is an emptier and lonelier, place without her. It’s the worst feeling I’ve ever had.

  • commented on Mean Dreams 2017-06-29 13:45:50 -0700 · Flag
    I had a dream similar. I went somewhere and I was sitting low and she stood over top of me and kissed me on the top of my head and then she hugged me and had tears in her eyes and she said to me that she was so happy I came back to her. It was very emotional and I woke up and got tears in my eyes thinking she actually came back to me. I love and miss her so much.

  • commented on Idle and Random Thoughts about Life in Grief~ 2017-06-28 13:40:17 -0700 · Flag
    “Life has a whole lot less color or energy without him (her) in it” My feelings exactly since my beloved Karen passed away on May 12th.

I am a 52 year old Cancer Widower. I lost my beloved Karen on May 12th, 2017 of Metestatic Breast Cancer. She was only 59.
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