In the Park

What is a park to you? A place to walk your dogs, read a book among nature, or just listen to the chirping birds?

For me, I'll be honest with you all....Starting at the age of 16 the park became a place where Michael and I could get away from our parents, sit on a picnic table and have lunch , and do what teenagers do (I'll let your imagination go wild). As we grew older it was a place for us to soak up the sun and read from our favorite authors.

Like any special location shared with your soul mate, once your spouse is taken out of the Earthly equation, the places almost become unbearable to even think about. I'd drive by it nearly every day, thinking fondly of the memories we shared there, but fearful of the fact that I may be unable to enjoy that park again.

Being the hard headed and unrelenting widow I am, I could not let that grassy knoll take victory. So I headed out one sunny afternoon with all my weapons of choice in hand:  blanket, water bottle, notebook, and iPod. I laid the quilt down in one of our favorite spots, put on of my favorite tunes, and opened my heart and water bottle to all that this situation may bring.

Like all things I have opened myself up too, I know that the outcome can come out two ways, in my favor or not. But no matter which side of the coin it lands on, I have to see the underlying truth and gift it's brought into my being.

So no matter where you forge out to, to test your emotional limits, or face a fear, or maybe even just reflect who you have become, know that it is not the outcome of the action, but more so your reaction to it.

Each of us literally chooses, by his way of attending to things, what sort of universe he shall appear to himself to inhabit. -William James


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