I'm feeling quite proud of myself today. I've been going through a bit of a tough patch in the past couple of weeks yet despite this, I've been riding it well. If there is such a thing as 'good widowing' then I think I deserve some kind of gold star.
This ability to identify when I need a little extra self-care and make that a priority is a skill I didn't have when my husband first passed away. I was plagued with doubt, guilt, impatience and frustration and it took me a long time to learn how to look after myself in this way and ride the waves of my grief.
To recognise within myself - especially during a tough time - that I have come a long way in the past two-and-a-half years gives me such a sense of achievement.
It also makes me think about how this resilience and maturity has seeped through to some other areas of my life. For example, when a drama flares up at work, I'm more likely to remain level-headed, see the bigger picture and not react to the stress. I'm not saying that I'm totally zen with nerves of steel (I wish!), I still react to things and can get carried away, but it's less often, less intense and I get over things much more quickly now.
I'm still hitting those grief blocks hard but I'm recovering faster and easier than I used to. Knowing that I'm capable and I've got this, well, to me, that's a pretty big deal.