From the moment our daughter, Ryann was born Joey was madly in love with her. She has always been his princess and although he loved his boys, his love for her was different.
The worst part of Joeys passing has always been the pain the children feel. The fact that they will have to grow up without their dad and never be able to experience life with him. But Ryann's pain as always been the hardest. She remembers him not just stories about him. He actually remembers life with him. She cries out at night for him. It's heartbreaking. She is overly sensitive and emotional. She cries if a bug dies because death is real to her. She understands something children should not.
But she also thrives at life. She is a good friend and student. She is good at anything she does. She first played t ball the year Joey died. He was her coach. He was supposed to coach her all the way to the big leagues. That was their plan. They had picture day on the day he died. The last picture taken of him was with her.
Now two years later she is excelling at softball and really grasping the game. Every time I watched her on the field I think of him and how proud he would be of her.
You can't help but to think of the future. Her future without him. Who will walk her down the aisle. Who will scare boys away when she is a teenager. And who will tell her it's ok when mom yells at her. I'm harder on her than my boys. I feel like I have to be. I want her to succeed in life. It's my job to keep her straight. But it was his job to sneak her candy and lay in bed with her at night when she couldn't sleep. So who does that now.
My heart breaks for my daughter whose hero was taken away from her so young. He was the sun and the stars to her. She loved him so much. I hope she one day losses some of the pain but always remembers the love.