“We envy others, for we see their lives in broad outline, while forced to live ours in every detail.”
— Robert Brault
I'm leading a weekend with a group of widows for our organization and there was one commonality within the group:
All had felt that their life, choices, look, path was less than when they compared it to others. Even more so, that it was magnified after losing their stake in ground (i.e. spouse).
Having no where else to compare, they turned to the internet/social media (the route many of us take to seek out fellow grief travelers), to feel connected.
I think for many, we find those connections and they are undoubtedly solid and lasting, but comparison may have or find a way to creep into our lives.
My wish for you all is that you never feel the need to compare. Heck, if you had me read my own blogs 5 years ago, I'd become more depressed! Mostly because I could never envision the positivity that has ensued over the last few years, and I was at a place where I'd feel 'less than' on my journey.
There were even moments where I thought I was failing at being a widow because I wasn't following in the footsteps of many others or found myself going from grief stage 4 with a sudden drop to stage 1.
It was in doing a "Robert Frost" and never turned around to see if or how others were taking the route, that my journey through widow-hood, and life, became a much more pleasant one.
Know that your journey is yours alone. One that you do not have the right to compare to others. One that others should never compare to yours. You'll thank yourself for it.
Comparison has a way of being a thief of joy.
Zip up your purse and hold it close to your side. ;)