Life goes rushing by ....

07_29_09.JPG.... way too quickly sometimes. Or is it just mine?

I doubt that ..... look who I'm writing to. We ALL know that life went rushing by too fast.

But my life as been so hectic in the last day or so, that not only did I not write on my own blog yesterday, I forgot to write my post for this blog!!!

So, here it is.

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Put on a Happy Face...

07_28_09.jpgHere's my happy face. This smile isn't fake, it was very sincere at that moment - I'm sure the free margaritas were enough to buy some sincerity, but I could be wrong. ;-)

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Remembering When

07_27_09.JPGThe word remember has taken on a new meaning since Phil died. Looking back is both painful and comforting. Sometimes recalling a specific event that I shared with Phil causes a jarring pain in my chest. These memories are often visceral...the atmosphere of a specific restaurant; the inflection of Phil's brother's voice; or the smell of a hotel room when you first pass through the doorway. 

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The Freedom To Be

07_26_09.JPGOverheard in the hotel check-in line at the San Diego Marriott..."Did you hear that there is a WIDOWS conference here in the hotel this weekend?" The unspoken next line was most likely, who would want to go to a widows conference? Ugh. And don't we look miserable? ;)

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Next Stop Letterman...

07_24_09.jpgOK, maybe I am exaggerating just a tad...

But last weekend, the National Conference on Widowhood gave me the opportunity to step WAAAY outside of my comfort zone. Like, Way.

This shy, insecure, risk-averse widow stood in front of a whole bunch of women and revealed herself. I wanted to give these fabulous, courageous and generous widows a few minutes of fun. I think they had fun and I know I did.

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Old Things

07_24_09_1.jpgI've long had a fascination of things from the past...things with a history. I can rummage for hours through an antique story, thinking of the stories that lay behind each piece, and the lives that created them. I love to feel old pieces of furniture or read old postcards and then in my mind weaving a tale for those who sat on it's cushions or pushed the lead to paper.

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A Thin Thread

07_23_09.jpgI've always felt like I related to this art piece made by my sister-in-law. It reminds me of pain. Of strength. Of holding on. Of hope. Do you ever feel like you're hanging on by the thinnest thread? I had been running on empty for a while now... feeling dry and indifferent... Feeling like I had given everything that I had to give, leaving nothing left for me. 

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Peace

07_22_09.jpgIt's surprising to me how much peace one can feel in the middle of a couple of hundred people.

Yet that's exactly what I felt at "Camp Widow" (love the nickname, M!).

To be surrounded by so many women, and a great guy, who understand what I'm feeling before I have the words to describe it ...... is very peaceful.

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The Value of a Friend (continued)....

07_21_09.jpgI spent this past weekend at the first ever National Conference on Widowhood, an experience I now fondly call “Camp Widow”. I watched in awe as women from around the world met each other for the first time and talked for hours like long lost friends. 

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And Life Goes On

07_20_09.jpgDo you ever count the things your husband has missed since he died? Or think about the amazing things that have transpired since you last had one of those, "You will never guess what happened!" conversations with him? I sometimes catch myself marveling about the ability of the world to continue in the aftermath of death and tragedy

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