joining the team

09_25_09_1.jpgHi, I’m Jackie. Unfortunately, if you’re reading this, you are most likely on the same dreaded team as me - a Widow. 

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Unlikely Community

09_24_09.JPGWhen Phil died on August 31, 2005 Matt and Liz Logelin were a happy couple with their whole lives ahead of them. As my body writhed in pain at the violent removal of my husband from my life, Matt was thinking about his next trip with Liz and the adventures that traveling the world with the love of his life would surely bring. While I searched for a new way to define myself in the role of a widowed person, Matt chose a ring for Liz to wear that would identify her as his wife. As my days passed in a haze of pain, his were filled with the clarity of purpose that comes from finding the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. We couldn't have been more different, Matt and I. Our lives were on completely disparate paths, until fate intervened.

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Didn't See it Coming ....

09_23_09.jpg.... and .... shockingly enough .... it came .... and went .... and I never saw it.

Friday was the 18th, month 22. And I didn't think about it one time. Even as I wrote the date down once or twice, it still didn't occur to me.

After last month's tsunami of a wave slammed into me on that date I find this incredible. And very hard to believe.

And a bit troublesome, though I'm not letting that one take a foothold in my heart.

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The Gifts of Widowhood: Me

09_22_09.jpgA friend of mine shared this picture with me earlier this week, and it made me laugh out loud. I've been told I'm pretty good at this particular skill. As an only child for the first ten years of my life, I was a pleaser. I didn't like to rock the boat and went to great lengths to avoid conflict. Don't get me wrong, I still wanted to get my way. I just wanted you to think it was your way too. :) I didn't change much into adulthood. I've never been a shrinking violet, but if I could avoid confrontation I would.

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Michele's Musical Mondays

09_21_09.JPGMy personal taste in music is extremely eclectic. I am influenced by all kinds of things when it comes to music; including my children, though they claim to be unable to improve my musical tastes. One thing you can count on though is there will be music playing somewhere when I am driving, home alone with no kids to complain about what I am listening to, and when I need a good cry, music always does the trick. 

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New Perspective on Sundays

09_20_09.JPGIt is my pleasure to introduce you to our new Sunday blog author, Kim T. Hamer. Five months ago Kim lost her husband, Art, to cancer. She was his caregiver. She is the mother of his children. She is a working professional, an unwillingly single mom, a bright and energetic lady, and a powerful writer. And we will experience all of this, and more, here on this blog every Sunday.

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Flashlight in Hand

09_19_09.jpgAfter Michael was killed, people I had known nearly my whole life seemed to drop like flies, one by one. The calls came less and less and with each meet up it seemed like bricks had been laid that separated me from them more and more. The lack of understanding, the not knowing what to do, or just the not wanting to know what I was going through, were a few of the many reasons I believe they evaporated from my life.

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The Widda' Elmhirst

09_18_09.JPGIt was true - the skin on my face was dry and it seemed to have turned a permanent, dull shade of gray. Every morning I put make up on, hoping that this would be the day that it would last beyond 7 AM. It never did. My eyes were dark and puffy. My eye lids hurt to touch.

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Twists and Turns


09_17_09.jpgThe concept of widowhood being a journey sometimes annoys me. Yeah, yeah, we KNOW this gut-wrenching, life-swirling, upside-down roller coaster of an experience is actually a journey! When I picture taking a journey, my mind conjures up Bilbo Baggins packing his mutton and tea and heading out into the beauty of the shire; not me rolled up in a ball on my bed trying to keep from crying so loudly that I wake the kids. And yet there is no denying that widowhood is indeed a journey.

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What We Can't See .....

09_16_09.jpg.... can't hurt us, right?

Or at least that's what we thought when we were 3. (The above picture is of Son #3 at Disney World with his beloved band Aerosmith's hat upon/over his head.)

But I wonder .... do I still think that what I can't see can't hurt me? 

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