Back to You

Im wondering, 

for real,

because I really do want to know,

will there ever be a time,

when something goes wrong in my life,

when a relationship ends,

or someone else breaks my heart,

Again,

or I lose a job opportunity,

or something happens with my health,

or I continue to struggle financially,

or my parents get sick,

or my kitties die,

or 

ANY ENDLESS NUMBER OF THINGS ........

During those battles in life,

in those moments of hardship,

will there EVER be a time,

when I DON'T automatically think,

or say, 

or scream into the void of nothing,

"WHY THE F**K ARENT YOU HERE????" 

 

Will that ever happen?

Will I ever just be able to see a hardship,

for a hardship,

and not trace it backwards,

all the way to your death? 

If someone could tell me this,

Id really like to know. 


Showing 6 reactions

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  • commented 2017-06-21 15:44:57 -0700
    When i end any relationship i just say for my self im better alone with my self , no need for any one .
    Just me alone and every thing will be fine.
    http://theguidr.com/best-kukri-knives-reviews/
  • commented 2017-06-14 18:33:09 -0700
    Kelley, passing this along -

    Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget,
    falls drop by drop upon the heart,
    until, in our despair,
    against our will,
    comes wisdom.
     
    Aeschylus
  • commented 2017-06-14 08:03:57 -0700
    Thanks everyone. Its not really that Im “blaming” Don for anything – its just more that every hardship in life, feels like it always comes back to me wishinig he was here with me to go through it with me. Ive been told by many, since this post, that I will ALWAYS wish that. I think thats pretty realistic, but I guess Ill find out.
  • commented 2017-06-12 15:37:56 -0700
    Kelley, I’ll bet you get to the point where you smile, your heart aching, and whisper “Thank you for being here, inside me. I carry your appreciation for me in my heart.”

    I take my guy forward with me. I’m 12 years a widow. I’ve become a darn capable woman. Yeah, my heart broke. Keep breaking it open and keep expanding, like you’re doing, and you’ll become more than your loss!
  • commented 2017-06-09 07:46:13 -0700
    Everyone’s grief is different, but after 10 years, I can honestly say that I don’t feel that way any more. The grief now tends to rear it’s head more at the missing of happy occasions.
  • commented 2017-06-09 06:46:16 -0700
    It will happen. After almost 8 years I rarely blame Jim for anything but I do ask him why he can’t be here to hold me up sometimes. It’s hard to see right now but you will get there.

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