I, like Michelle, have not thought a lot about my future. It seems to be a very fuzzy grey fog out there somewhere (but hey, it used to be an inky black fog so here's to the color getting lighter!).
But recently, I have caught myself thinking about it. Even making a plan or two. And then I'll realize what I'm doing and stop ..... and be amazed.
The above picture is an example of me thinking about the future and not catching myself until later. While I was back "home" in Oklahoma I spent some time with one of my dearest and best friends (and oldest but that's such a rude term!). We drove over to her in-laws' property so that I could see this chapel that her father-in-law had built on their land. I thought it was darling and went back to the car to get my camera because the future suddenly hit me. You see, my oldest daughter fell in love with a very small chapel while we were in Scotland many years ago. It was at the Edinburgh castle and she has always said it would be wonderful to be married there (even though you can get only about 12 people in it).
Well, as I was busy snapping away inside my friend read me the story behind the chapel. It seems her in-laws had been to Edinburgh, seen that castle and loved it so much they copied it. I was standing in a replica of the chapel my daughter loves! And it's a heck of a lot closer than Scotland!
So I started thinking of taking pictures for her .... so that she could see how lovely it is and maybe she'd decide it would be a beautiful place to get married.
Wait!! That would be "the future". Especially because she's not even engaged at the moment! I, Janine, the person who never thinks further ahead than the current day, was thinking about the f-u-t-u-r-e? I was a bit stunned for a moment. But only a moment. Because I then realized that thinking about that grey fog is a good thing. Good for me, good for my children.
Good for Jim.
He wouldn't want me having no future and only inky blackness. I think he'd be grateful for the grey, but he'd be hoping for it to start lighting up to a pale blue.
And I think that's what he's pulling for because I swear I saw more blue while taking pictures of that chapel.
So .... maybe I'm moving forward more with less backward steps. Maybe.
Not always ..... I'm not clueless enough to think I'm done with the backward steps.
But until then .... I'll take a lighter shade of blue.
Curiously enough, it was Jim's favorite color.
It's a good thing I like the color blue.
Go blue. :)