Ironically, it is grief itself that will lead us towards life and living. We need to allow ourselves to be still, and sit in the "nothingness" where grief lives.
I have begun to realize that visiting this empty place is necessary. It is here that we will find the answers we seek. This is the place where we will find the blueprints of our Soul. We are re-born from the hollowness and aching within us. I hope my blog inspires you to lean into your pain. To feel it to it's depth. If you do this, I promise that you find your way towards a changed life.
Death creates an empty spot within us; and I have become increasingly drawn towards the ledge of this place because I believe this is where some of the answers are. I think it is here that we will learn to gracefully carry our grief so that we can live again. So, take a breathe, and come with me to the ledge. I know we will both be better for it.
I know you are scared to go to the edge; admittedly, I am too. The uncertainty that follows death is intimidating. But, we have to make ourselves even more uncomfortable. We have to venture from the ledge. I am going to take a leap of faith and build my wings on the way down. Please, come follow me.
Deep down, I know that I do not want to be "saved" from my fiance's death by anyone, but myself. I know that it is necessary for me to do this on my own. No one can rescue me. But, people like you can walk along side me as I navigate my way into a changed life. I am glad you are here with me as I write about moving towards the light. The light within me, and the light outside of me.
I am focused on change. And, I know that if I am going to find my way out of this mess I can not stay comfortable in my grief. I have to move. I have to become off kilter. As I write to you each week, I am becoming more aware of my feelings. I realize that what I fear most about the future is not the risks and uncertainty. What I am afraid of is letting the opportunities for change pass me by. I am scared of settling into an ordinary life when I want an extraordinary life.
It is my potential, my light, my ability to shine that frightens me. I am worried that I will play small, when my potential is big. As I write to you each week I am challenging us both not to shrink. I am keeping us accountable. I do not want either of us to fall back into an easy comfortableness when we can leap forward, towards a bold life. I want you to manifest the best in yourself. Go, create a beautiful life for yourself. I am not far behind you. We can not let life pass us by. Together, we've got this.
From the Ledge with Wings in Hand,