I just returned from England and decided to sift through posts I wrote on my first "once-in-a-lifetime" trip after Michael was killed. This poem sums it all up...My life here without him...my presence on this earth...my impact from that which he embedded in my being.
The sentiments and feelings are still the same...as well as the love:
Wow!! I came across these and got those ever present chills.
I felt like this while walking through Spain. I wanted to touch, smell, hear everything to it maximum capacity. I was taking notes in my head to give Michael, experiences that I wanted to share with him. It sucks on those days when I don't get to have those notes to give him, but the days when I do, the days when I feel I have lived, those are the ones which are bound and printed in my memory for him.
Love Sonnet LXXXIX by Pablo Neruda
When I die, I want your hands on my eyes:
I want the light and wheat of your beloved hands
to pass their freshness over me once more:
I want to feel the softness that changed my destiny.
I want you to live while I wait for you, asleep.
I want your ears still to hear the wind, I want you
to sniff the sea's aroma that we loved together,
to continue to walk on the sand we walk on.
I want what I love to continue to live
and you, whom I love and sang above everything else
to continue to flourish, full-flowered:
so that you can teach everything my love directs you to,
so that my shadow can travel alone in your hair,
so that everything can learn the reason for my song.