Don Yacona

  • commented on Its My Anniversary, and My Husband Is Dead 2016-10-28 14:54:35 -0700
    There are so many things I want to say about this and how perfect it is that I just cant. This is not the life we thought we were going to have. Fate, of whaever you want to call it smacked us with a sledge and said “No, you don’t get this life!”.

  • commented on My Two-ish Selves~ 2016-09-14 09:52:44 -0700
    This is totally me. I funtion because I have to, not because I want to. When people ask me how I’m coping, or comment that I seem to be coping well, my answer is that I’m ok as long as I’m around or interacting with people. I’m not sure if they really get what it is to come home to a now empty house, have to cook for one when I used to cook for two, talk out loud to someone who is their only in spirit and to visit the love of your life at the cemetary as I do each morning.

  • commented on My Davy Jones Moment 2016-09-03 12:47:12 -0700
    This one was so awesome. Thanks for writing it.

  • commented on This Silent Companion~ 2016-08-10 17:01:41 -0700
    So powerful

  • commented on The Tsunami of July 2016-07-02 09:29:49 -0700
    True in every sense of the word. For me it extends from Arlene’s birthday in May, thru the three anniversaries in June (day she had the stroke, the day she passed and the day we met) till this Wednsday, the day we became “US”. It just sucks.

  • commented on Sharing With Myself 2016-06-30 09:49:55 -0700
    I can identify with every part of this. Very well done, thank you.

  • commented on A Letter to My Younger Self 2016-06-12 17:23:04 -0700
    i just hit the one year mark on Friday. I REALLY need to hear from my future self.

  • commented on I'm Not Made of Stone 2016-06-07 15:08:54 -0700
    Death sucks, grief sucks, widow/erhood sucks and what sucks too is watching your entire world in ICU. A year ago today I was in the middle of that experience for for the fourth and final time as I was begging her to wake up and come home with me. In her last 8 days she had her remaining leg amputated, heart attacks #3,4 & 5 and a stroke. It all sucks.

  • commented on Blind Trust 2016-05-31 09:53:42 -0700
    I so understand all this, not that I am or would like to be in another relationship right now. I took a trip to Savannah last December that we had talked about and I was constantly thinking how much she would have loved it and how a week would not have been long enough and how unfair it was that she wasn’t there with me (except in spirit). I also feel that I am not the same as I was, how could I be? She was sick for such a long time and along with that, I had been long term unemployed and we also got smacked by Superstorm Sandy. Everytime I see something new, my mind right away says “she would have loved that” or “she would have passed on this”. Its just so not fair. And its worse lately because the first anniversary of her heart attack and stroke are this week and next week is the first anniversary of the day she went to the Angels.

  • commented on Pre-planning your Emotional Response to Death...Ain't it Precious? 2016-05-25 15:24:36 -0700
    I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love this one! BRAVO!

  • commented on Broken Heart Exchange 2016-04-26 09:25:12 -0700
    Thank you for this. I have gotten “bogged down” with who is and isn’t supporting me and I really should’t because I just run the risk of alienating people and that would be repeating family history.

  • commented on Getting Around to It 2016-04-19 07:13:29 -0700
    Mike, this is so like my experience. I was out of work for 4 1/2 years starting in 2009 and things couldn’t get done in our house. long story short, Arlene always wanted new floors and our hallway, which had to be renovated be re done and we needed new furniture to replace what had to go out following Hurricane Sandy. The new floor in our house was put in in March of 2014 and she was able to climb the stairs to come and see them, our new bed and our bedroom set which a friend had given us. It was the last time she ever entered our house, she never saw the new living room set, the new sectional for our enclosed porch in the front of the house and the new ceiling fan she picked out for that room. All of this new stuff, which made the house nicer, she never saw. And now I sit in the living room, staring at the spot she’d be sitting in had she made it home and wonder why she isn’t there and think how so unfair it is that she never came home. She didn’t sleep in our house for her last 23 months.

  • commented on Back to Start 2016-04-10 07:48:07 -0700
    Kelly,

    I read this and it brings me back to when our dogs were sick (we were dog people) and when she was sick and when she was in the coma, and all I kept hearing from Arlene and her sister was that “You can’t fall apart”. So when is my turn? We all need that “maintenance” at some point. So if you need to, do it.

  • commented on Re-claiming a Simple Pleasure 2016-03-28 03:38:11 -0700
    Thank you for this. As a second generation widower, I am trying not to follow in my father’s footsteps. I lost my mother to a brain tumor in 1970 when I was 12 and my father cried on the couch for about a month and then stated hitting the bars after work, sometimes five nights a week and he made one bad choice after another. He also became a functioning alcoholic for the next 25 or 30 years. I am desperatly trying not to avoid family history. I come right home after work, I have a nice supply of booze in the fridge and haven’t touched a drop. Yes, I do occasionally have one or two beers at social gatherings, but thats it. I feel this is a crucial time in my becoming me 2.0 and adding getting drunk alot would be the worst thing I can do.

  • commented on What do You Think? 2016-03-22 15:16:19 -0700
    Mike,

    I have been doing the same thing. Arlene and I were Sandy survivors who had to abandon our house due to delayed issues from the storm. Almost all of our furniture had to go, walls had to be repainted and repaired and because she was going to be in a wheelchair mostly when she came home 2 years later without her legs. We were in the middle of that project when she passed. The floor she had picked wasnt going to work in the house, too expensive and too much work to install it. So i had to pick out something that would kind of be in the same family as what she wanted. I also picked a new tv stand for the living room because our wall unit was a casualty. I am now fixing the room that was what I called Estrogen central because it was her sanctuary. This means picking verticals that will go with the sectional that she bought for that room and never saw in the house because she couldnt weight bare enough to clime the stairs to get in. I sit in a living room with new furniture that she never saw in the house for the same reason. And do you know what? This is so unfair and it really sucks. I hate it. It feels like a different house and I dont want to come home to it because she isn’t there.

  • commented on The Simple Life 2016-03-08 15:34:18 -0800
    Mike,

    My long term girlfriend (32 years) was a type 2 diabetic who, long story short, over several years and especially the last 2 1/2 suffered 5 heart attacks, both legs amputated, a stroke, had both kidneys fail and had to be a dialysis patient for her last 30 months. In that time we had to abandon our house due to delayed issues from Superstorm Sandy, became essentially homeless for three weeks and oh yeah, for a year after her illness got real, I was unemployed.

    I was preparing to become at least a partial caregiver to a double amputee diabetic dialysis patient who was a heart and stroke risk. She couldnt re-enter our house because she couldn’t climb the stairs to get in and I was in the process of getting us a ramp donated so she could come home, something she hadn’t done for her last 23 months.

    Would I do it again? YES! Without question.

  • commented on On Being Cherished...and Kissed... 2016-03-02 15:11:53 -0800
    This was so wonderful. Thank you for sharing.

  • commented on I Will Never Move On 2016-02-19 06:10:01 -0800
    Kelley, you are correct on every point. So far I’ve only had one person tell me to “move on” and that person is now shut out of my life now. I passed 8 months last week and I visit the grave pretty much every day. There is no such thing as “move on” for us.

  • commented on You Deserve To Share This 2016-02-06 05:53:49 -0800
    I can identify. We were Sandy survivors and I had been out of work for several years before that. So things were falling apart before the hurricane and before she got very sick. In the period before she passed, we were buying new furniture and having our hallway renovated and had new floors put in. She never saw it in the house because she couldn’t climb steps well enough to come home and then was in either the hospital or rehab/nursing facilities her last 7 1/2 months. It feels like a different house right now, but it doesn’t feel like “home” because she’s not here to see it. And it’s killing me. It’s not fair that she never came home.

  • commented on The Lovely Dance of Grief~ 2016-01-27 10:17:27 -0800
    That was beautiful Alison. I carry guilt because I couldn’t make a good life for her. And lately, most of my memories are from when things started getting bad 8-10 years ago and they are overwealming my memories of all of our good times. I worry that I’m losing her from when she was healthy and vibrant. All I am remembering now is when she was sick, getting sicker and in more and more in pain and agony. Its not right and its not fair.