This week we had some downtime and a day off school. So my sister and I took the kids to great wolf lodge for the night. This place holds lots of great and special memories for us as a family. We started going there when my now 7 year old daughter was just a baby. All the kids have been with their dad and have their own memories of being there.
Now we are creating new memories together and I'm learning to be ok with that. I am realizing that this is part of moving forward. You have to continue to live and have wonderful times because that's living and that's what our loved ones would want.
I can’t say enough about this whole adventure into counseling the past few weeks. Last week, Mike shared about how our first session went for him, and I’d like to share some feelings of my own about our second session on Friday, and about what I am learning along the way.
Firstly, I’ve been in therapy for a good majority of my adult life. But this one, this one is a first for me too. It is the first time I’ve gone to counseling with someone else by my side. I’ll admit, it made me nervous too at first. I too worried about what we might uncover as we willfully opened up to letting someone help us. I worried there would be darker stuff there than either of us knew before. That maybe somehow this would make things worse, not better? I’m not sure really, but either way, the whole thing did feel just a tad risky, even though I know we are tending to our problems very early on.
It has been wonderful though. So wonderful.
It was an interesting 10 days. It was a week and a half of guessing games, assumptions,
And jumping to conclusions. (on my part) It was a very emotional 10 days, and it was 10 days I do not wish to repeat again. But it came with a lot of lessons, and things that I probably needed to improve on. This one’s all on me.
In this weird version of life, the one I didn’t ask for where Im a widowed person and where
My husband and I don’t get to have our future together, it’s the simple things that mean the most to me, and that I begin to rely on. Probably the biggest of those things has been the friendship I have developed over the past year and a half, largely via daily phone chats, with a widower that I feel a strong connection with. I have developed feelings for this person, and he knows this, and agrees that there is something there between us. But he isn’t in a place right now to explore that, or to think about being in a relationship with someone. That is okay. Our friendship and our connection means the world to me.