You Are Not Alone

Widowed people created Soaring Spirits because we discovered that connecting with other widowed people made the challenges of surviving a spouse or partner a little easier to manage.

There is a widowed community here at Soaring Spirits that offers widowed men and women understanding, friendship, inspiration, and encouragement as they learn to live without the person with whom they intended to spend the rest of their lives. 

Soaring Spirits communities, both online and in-person, are diverse, inclusive, secular, and positive. We share resources, ideas, energy, and most importantly, hope.

We believe that hope matters.


It's Complicated - Repost

While I am away, I am reposting a blog from 2014. Interesting how some things never change.

Recently I've had people say to me, when they learn I've been widowed, well, you know he'll always be with you. I know they say that with all the best intentions...and in a way, I agree, because yes, he will always be in my heart. But it's not as easy as that. Regardless of what my personal spiritual beliefs are, saying something like that can sound awfully close to someone wanting to gloss over the tragedy of the death of my husband and what it means for me in my own life. Easier to say that and hope the conversation will move away from the uncomfortable subject, right? Or am I being difficult here? What do they expect - that I'll say, oh, he will? Well that's great, I feel so much better now! Thanks for letting me know!


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Never Have I Ever~

How about…let’s play a possibly desperate game of Never Have I Ever…

Or, conversely, Never Did I Ever…

Never have I ever

Felt this level of loneliness and aloneness, no matter where I am, whether I’m surrounded by others, no matter what I’m doing.

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A Message from Before Beyond

“My husband and I have only been married 5 years, I need more time to show him how much I truly

love him. I want my lifetime with him. I want the fighting, and loving. He has stayed by me though

everything, even when it gets so frustrating I could give up. Though we both are frustrated by my

disease, he has never let that break us. He won't give up on me. He has given up so much to make me

happy and to do what is right for me, never thinking how it's going to affect him first. He would do

anything for me, and this I know because he has done everything for me. I have never been so in love

with anyone else in my life. He is the only one that makes me whole. He is always loving me, and for that

I love him.”


Those words were written by Megan, in October of 2010.  At the time, she was incredibly sick.  An oxygen machine had sat in our living room, loudly buzzing away 24/7 for about a year so far.  More often than not, she wasn’t home, she was in the hospital.  I would mix and prepare her aerosol treatments for her, bring her her pills, wash her clothes, cook dinner, and go to work.  I’d lift her into and out of the tub, and wash her hair for her.  If we did leave the house, I would ensure she had everything she needed, including a wheelchair.  

It took a village, make no mistake.  Her parents were there for her, for us, whenever she needed.  I couldn’t be there at all hours.  I had to stay in a dead-end job, with a 2 hour commute each way, just so we could keep our insurance.  Even when I would receive offers from nearby and more desirable employers, I couldn’t entertain them, because the 90 day wait for healthcare would have bankrupted us in medical bills.  Her parents certainly were focused on her well-being, and Shelby’s, and more than made up for the times that I couldn’t be there.  

It was a thankless job...or so I thought.


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